Choir Performance #3

Choir Performance #3

D’s been having a few bad days. Meaning: high level of arousal, poor self-regulation, difficulty sleeping, poor concentration and very easily distracted.

Right in the middle of it all, came the day of special choir performance, and in the evening of the very same day: kindergarten graduation. The choir performance was not a routine Sunday School choir monthly ministry, because it was to celebrate Parents’ Day at church. So the choir members each held flowers for their Moms and Dads, to be given right after they sing two songs.

Oh la la, what a perfect timing..... @.@

The choir performance went OK. I think it was OK that D deliberately jumped off the platform, his SS teacher had to retrieve him and put him back on stage. He was bored because in between the 2 songs they played a short video clip on the big screen, portraying some of the SS choir kids saying a few words of appreciation for their parents.

But it was OK, I guess... :P

Until it was time to give flowers to the parents.

I had pictured this to be a very touchy moment, where my son would be smiling lovingly and I may sentimentally shed a couple of joyful teardrops from the corner of my eyes, blah blah blah... I even had a pocket tissue handy, just in case. I brought 2 cellphones to take a few pictures and video clips. I remembered considering to ask the girl sitting next to me to help snap some pics of my handsome little boy handing me a red rose, kissing me on the cheek, the pictures would have been EPIC! Then I’d post the precious pictures on FB, BB, whatever media possible.

Well I’m glad I didn’t ask the girl to take our picture.

Coz by the time SS teacher told the choir kids to find their parents, D dashed off the platform, ran with all his might to the corners of the hall :O :O

My former visualisation collapsed.

A few seconds later, D came back, still running, only to pinch my tummy a bit and giggled and dashed off again, with MY flower still in his hand. I could hear people near me giggled. By then other parents were receiving their  flowers along with MY visualisation coming true.

Oh well... And there I was, still standing awkwardly, cellphone camera on stand by, trying to find D with my eye. No sign of him anywhere.

Then with quite a loud thumping, he showed up with the brightest smile, excited from all the running, not coming towards me, but up onto the... podium! X(

Now this was turning out to be rather nightmare-ish. But I still should be thankful because he didn’t try to reach the pulpit and came back down quickly.

And when I was no longer expecting, he came to me (yup, still running) and handed me the flower, then dashed off to join his choir group, someplace where they BELONG.

I noticed that while at first he had 2 flowers, D only had 1 left when he handed it to me. It turned out that he found his Papa sitting at the back (Papa later came all the way from the hospital to be there on Parents’ Day, most probably with the same visualisation as mine hehehe) and handed him one of the flowers before dashing off towards the podium.

So, sorry, no touchy-D-giving-Mommy-a-flower picture to attach here :)

But we love him anyway... for not running on to the pulpit ;)

“Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him.” Psalms 127:3

Gates of Independence

It's the year of indepence. Both for Mommy and for Darren.

Darren's been going to Sunday School on his own for the last few weeks. By 'on his own', I mean I dropped him at SS right on time, then I (and hubby, whenever he was off duty) joined the sunday service for adults. After SS is over, we would pick Darren from his SS class, or he would come and join us in adult service.

FYI, for Sunday School, they always hold a brief, collective praise n worship service for children aged 0 - 6 before separating them in different classes for different ages when it was time for Bible story-telling. In this way, children get their portions of Biblical teachings according to their current understanding & development.

I used to wonder, whether Darren could find his way to class without getting lost in the crowd going in different directions. His sense of direction is still developing, sometimes he doesn't know where to turn, left or right, to get back to where I was standing, i.e. when we're in a familiar bookstore (with tall rows of bookshelves), or at church. I can imagine, being only a meter-tall or something, things must be pretty confusing.
Heck, even I myself still find my sense of direction poor :P

Anyway, it turned out that he found his way, easily!
Even better yet, no separation anxiety whatsoever, unlike the majority of his SS classmates.

To me, it felt liberating. It's the day that I (we) have been looking forward to, impatiently sometimes. But at some point, it was also touchy. I know you mommies out there know exactly what I'm talking about, some other moms had also told me their own stories of their children entering the first gates of childhood independence. It felt surreal. We would remember the days of their annoying clingy-ness, refusing to let go of mommy's hands (or even legs!!) in SS or at school. And remember way back when they were still learning to walk, or even waaayyy back to the very first time they were put in your arms.

And it's only been a little over 3 years. There will be other gates of independence. Wonder how those would taste :)

Sunday Fun

Darren loves to go to Sunday School.
He loves to sing along and move along the songs, although he doesn’t follow them very well yet.
He looks forward to going to Sunday School on every Sunday.

Darren has three regular Sunday School teachers.
Two of them are nice, middle-aged ladies. The other one’s a pretty, young lady at her teens.
Darren seems to like the last one best ^__^

Last Sunday, his favorite SS teacher was leading the singing and dancing. Out of the blue, he went by himself and sat right by her!
If you’re curious, I sat in the far side of the room. He usually sat by my side or on my lap, and then I would try to make him follow all the activities, but it would only last for some 15 minutes.

But this time, to my surprise, he happily sat on his own, on the foremost line (!) and sang and danced along the songs (though very limitedly). In fact, he was the youngest and the smallest kid there who join his SS teachers sing and dance.

Darren seemed enthusiastic to sing and dance along, although he only knew a few songs (because I didn’t know the song well enough to teach him hehehe...).
It was a pleasant surprise to learn that he’s somewhat independent and confident enough to do that.
(There were several other kids around 2 years old or more who wouldn’t join any activity, and just played around with all the available toys.)

Being a 17 month-old, please keep in mind that he does have a short attention span. After singing and dancing along a few songs, he came to me and sat on my lap. Some 5 minutes later, he was all around the room, no longer paying attention.

Nonetheless, it was a pleasant surprise ^__^

Toilet Missed

A few weeks ago, I proclaimed that Darren was officially toilet trained.
Well he kinda was, and I already stopped putting his diapers on during the day for nearly two months now.
But please know that he does miss once in a while.

I don’t want to intimidate any other mommies out there by unfairly telling only the “ups” and not the “downs”. So, here’s one of the “downs”.

Darren peed in his pants last week.
He did said “PEE”, but it was only about three seconds before his “water broke”, when I was frantically trying to haul him to the toilet.
Where did this happen? No, unfortunately, not at home. In Sunday School! Ouch!
Although it was a little bit embarassing, considering how much I had bragged about him being off diapers, I managed to hold on to the primary rule of toilet training: NEVER discourage him by stressing on his errors or showing him too much, if any, disappointment. (I made that rule.)

So, I looked at him and smiled, saying that it was OK and that he should tell me BEFORE his next urge to pee. The fact that he took the whole thing easily and was already off to play within a few seconds was as a good sign of his mental state regarding his toilet training.

Among his other excellence, to tell you the truth, being toilet trained so early is one of Darren’s most surprising and fulfilling development.
To mommies out there who might be curious, here’s some toilet training tips (I’m also writing this to keep a note for myself, in case I’m having more kids –nope, SO not in the near future-) :

1. Keep in mind that you’re not TRAINING him, you’re SHOWING him the right place to pee/poop.

2. During the day, since early on, let him pee in his pants so he learns to feel the sensation of peeing and being wet (in Indonesia, mommies generally don’t use disposable diapers as much as mommies in the West. Personally, I think this helps. Although I must remind you, it’s oh SO MESSY!!)

3. At some 5 or 6 months, bring him to pee in the bathroom (I held Darren in my arms and “aimed” his pee into the toilet bowl), regardless he pees or not. Make it regular (some once or twice a day and gradually more frequent as he grows older), but keep in mind, DON’T EVER BE PUSHY (don’t expect him to pee every time you try, and don’t be disappointed if he doesn’t).

4. Make the point number 3 as fun as you can.

5. If he does pee into the toilet, PRAISE him with all your might. Make him understand (gradually, as he grows older) exactly why you praise him.

6. Once he’s able to sit up, sit him on a potty on the toilet bowl to pee or poop (remember, NEVER LEAVE HIM ALONE in the bathroom!).

7. Don’t compare him to other kids or set targets. Kids are different. Accept and love your kid as he is, that’s the best encouragement.

8. And, as I said before, NEVER discourage him by stressing on his errors or showing him too much, if any, disappointment. Together, celebrate his success, and underrate his un-success (make sure you encourage him if ever you feel a pinch of disappointment on his side). He’ll eventually think of peeing or pooping into the toilet as his personal achievement.

That’s all, I guess. By the time Darren learned to speak, he immediately told us when he needed to go. If I remembered correctly, it was when he reached 13 months of age.
At that time, he didn’t always mean it when he said “PEE” or “POOP”. Sometimes he just made fun of it, sometimes he just wanted to watch our urgency.

I guess one of the key to success was not expecting too much and just let things flow. When he’s ready, he’s ready.

Good luck, mommies ^______^

Javanese Hat

Darren LLOOOVVVEEESSS his new hat.
He likes to wear it anytime, anywhere. He even refuses to take it off during his meals!
Take a look at the picture.

It’s a Javanese traditional hat.
In Javanese dialect, it’s called BLANGKON.

Whenever Darren sees the hat, he would want to wear it. And whenever he sees his Daddy’s hat, he would want his daddy to wear it.

We went to church yesterday, and we had a hunch that Darren would want to wear the hat to Sunday School.

His Daddy insisted that there was no way he would wear the hat to church, no matter what!

So when we were getting ready to church, we hid both hats.

Thankfully, Darren didn’t remember asking for it. Phew, Daddy’s safe! ^__^