Monday, August 22, 2011

Motherhood brings different blessings (or curses??!) to different women. Most mommies share similar stories of rises and falls. We all (well, amost all) agree on how difficult it was to cope with being a new mommy, dealing with crying, sleepless babies night in and night out for years on end, and later on disciplining a toddler, managing a teenager, and so on.

Mommies, of all forms of living creatures on this planet, SHOULD HAVE BEEN the best of friends, logically. But who among you mommies have never felt intimidated, attacked, judged, or mistreated by other moms? (Of course this also applies to nearly all men & women alike, being sinners who need God's grace, but that's a different story, so keep reading please.)
Surprisingly, I find that for us the most judgmental & discouraging of all people are often times fellow mommies! The same people who have been through the horror of giving birth, the miserable times of severe sleep deprivation, the agony of holding a sick or colicky baby, the frustration of keeping a pre-schooler on track, and the dismay of dealing with teenagers.

How can this be?

Perhaps from our innermost being, we mommies long for the approval that we have done our best for our family and children, no matter what choices we made, whether it was in the form of sacrificing a shiny carrier to be a stay-at-home-mom or a struggle to balance office work and a healthy household. Perhaps we mommies get too much pressure from our surroundings, to mother our children the way they did; most frequently from older women who (thought) they had successfully done their job their way earlier.
Or perhaps some bitchy, actually-lacks-of-self-confidence mommies just can't help but satisfying themself by making other moms miserable. Some women had 'good intentions' and gave un-asked, un-needed, even un-true advices that turned out to be irritating instead.
And yet worst of all, some of us would give foolish comments for women struggling with infertility while at the same time bragging about their own children. Mind you, dear mothers, children are God's gracious GIFTS. None of us is deserving, none of us can 'make efforts' to get a child. The Creator of the universe Himself gives children, each according to His plan, His will, to whomever He chooses.

Why can't we just be kinder, fellow moms?

Choose your words wisely before they leave your mouths and think of the impacts for anyone who can hear you. Walk a mile in other people's shoes before 'helping' them with your suggestions or advices, or if you can't walk that mile, keep your lovely mouths shut, please...

If we can at least try to behave nicely (like what we demand from our children with firm discipline and persistence), perhaps motherhood would be an even more delightful journey.

'Ada orang yang lancang mulutnya seperti tikaman pedang, tetapi lidah orang bijak mendatangkan kesembuhan. '
-Amsal 12:18

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