Project December part 1

November.

Sebentar lagi Desember.

Dulu bulan Desember adalah bulan favorit saya dalam setaun. Bukan karena natal or ultah, tapi pokoknya there’s just something special about Decembers :)

Tapi Desember yang lalu ternyata rada suram, karena saya terpaksa menjomblo alias sementara jadi single Mom (boleh buka postingan ini).

Tak dinyana tak diduga, Desember ini pun saya menjomblo lagi :’( Hiks...

Baru aja 3 minggu pulang setelah dines selama 2 bulan 1 minggu in a faraway town (ceritanya di sini), Papanya D kudu berangkat dines lagi, 2 bulan lagi. Lagi-lagi in Desember.

Belajar dari pengalaman yang lalu, saya gak bikin countdown lagi, karena dulu meleset juga count down-nya, alias Papanya D diperpanjang masa dinesnya dari 2 bulan jadi 2 bulan lebih seminggu (penting banget yak? Pentiiinng doong... :P).

So, this time, kami bikin countdown-nya beda: countdown sampe saatnya Omanya D dan mungkin Opanya juga, alias Mama and Papa saya dateng berkunjung ke tempat kami.

Saat banyak kupu-kupu merubungi bunga di foto ini (sekitar 6-7 ekor lah), berarti Omanya D bakal dateng deh. Yaay :)

 

Waktu difoto belom ada kupu-kupunya hehe...
Saya cari2 ternyata yang ada kupu-kupu belom difoto :P Entar ye...

Selain itu, saya juga nyiapin a big Project December.

Untuk pertama kalinya ever, ultah D bakal dirayain, di skul :)

Sebelom2nya sih paling cuman beli cake, pasang lilin, and tiup. Sama keluarga deket lah pada kasih kado ya. Sejak merantau, ultah D tambah sederhana aja: beli bolu or taartjes yang ukurannya cuman segede kuman (wkwkwk), dikasih lilin kecil (lilinnya biasanya persediaan sisa taun lalu atau sisa ultah Papa bbrp bulan sebelomnya huahahahah....). Jadi cuman nyanyi, tiup lilin, buka kado, doa. Udah gitu doang.

Paling sedih taon lalu, karena seperti yang saya bilang, Papanya D lagi keluar kota (kalo mau baca boleh klik link di atas ya), dan saya gak pulang kampung karena baru aja pulang kampung sebulan sebelom D ultah. Jadinya kita ultah berduaan doang di rumah. Fotonya aja minim, karena diambil pake HP. Aih... memelas banget lah pokoke.

This year, kami udah mutusin untuk bikin ultah buat si D di skul, supaya si D ada kenang2an masa kecil alias childhood memories gituh. Dia emang udah beberapa taun minta ngerayain ultah di skul, cuma dulu2 selain saya ngerasa gak sanggup nyiapin, juga dananya seret. This year puji Tuhan setelah ditimbang-timbang (kayak jeruk aja...), dikunyah-kunyah (apaan sih..), kayaknya bisa deh kita ulang taunin :)

Langsung deh pikirannya Mama berkembang biak. Lho? Langsung ide-ide cemerlang bercampur dengan ide-ide buruk beterbangan di sekitar pikiran Mama :P

Dari 3 bulan sebelom hari-H, saya udah browsing2 cari ide2, akhirnya diputuskan mau pake tema. Dan karena sebenernya hari ultahnya D jatuh di masa libur Natal (salah satu alesan kenapa sebelomnya gak bisa ngerayain ultah di skul), maka dengan terpaksa perayaan ultahnya kita majuin sebelom waktunya deh :P  Kata orang pamali ya, tapi kita doa aja dalam nama Yesus, usir segala pamali, segala bad luck whatsoever. Kalo terbeban, mohon titip doa ya pembaca ;) Tengkyu!

Karena ternyata persiapannya cukup rumit, dan buanyaaaakkk foto segala pernak-perniknya, saya akan bagi jadi beberapa postingan ya. (Semoga kesampean deh nulisinnya wkwkkwwk....)

Here’s a sneak peek ;P

Logo D's 6th birthday party :D

Logo ini dibikinin oleh temen saya, Sarah Eliana, yang bisa ditemuin blognya di women-for-christ.blogspot.dk

Ini yang lain-lainnya, keterangan menyusul ya..

Gambar singa and harimau ini free printables yang saya ambil dari www.mrprintables.com.

To be continued... ;)

Greed

Greed.

Or is it thirst?

Of longing for something for so long. 
When you finally get it, you thought you’d savor it until you’re satisfied. 
Or nearly satisfied.

But then when it came, you only got a sip of it, and long before you’re anywhere near satisfied, it’s gone again, left you longing for it even worse.
I dunno which is worse: the not having or the having but not enough.
The longing or the having it taken away from you so shortly after you think the longing had ended, thus the second longing, only more desperate.

Even a child knows how that feels.

In his innocent ways he tried to cope, to comprehend, to overcome the agony of it all.
He counted down to the time when his longing would end. Right when it did end, temporarily as it was, he rejoiced his heart off. Ecstatic without suspecting that he’d soon fall into it again. And when he inevitably did fall into that longing, the more desperate second longing, his young mind was blown up. 
He couldn’t yet understand that we human being have this mechanism called drawing back. It is curling for comfort in that quiet little corner, so that whatever hurt you can’t easily hurt you again. A child doesn’t know enough to draw back. At least not at this point.

So the child chose to be patient. To patiently wait, expecting this second longing would not be as agonizing as the first one. He didn’t realize that he had that wound from the first longing, fresh and unhealed. He didn’t realize that expecting would potentially give him another fresh wound, more painful than the first, because it would make two wounds now.

So, expectantly, second after second, he nails his mind onto what he was longing for. 
Seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours. Now he felt it, a sting of pain. He had such elaborate vision of the things he wanted to do when what he longed for came. He begin to think that his vision may not all come to be. Some of them would, but surely not all of them. So he better learn to prioritize. To first do what he most want to, before he misses that chance for good.

In a matter of hours, with his coping mechanism, he gained what normally takes years: maturity, wisdom, reality check. But lost some along the way: some sense of security, some trust, some childhood innocence.

Some adults simply chose to cope by drawing back to avoid more wounds, if the old ones can’t be healed. Especially if the old ones can’t be healed or unhealed yet.

So was that all because of this: GREED?

Or was it a normal thirst? A thirst so perpetually unquenched that it turned into greed? 
And thus, ungratefulness?

Here’s what God told me through Nancy’s teaching:

“If you are not satisfied with what you have, 

you won’t be satisfied with what you think you want.”

:O
Just like this verse:

Hebrew 13:5: “... and be content with what you have...”

Thus my breakthrough moment came. With one brief and simple sentence.
That’s how my awesome God works :)

***

I wrote the above post a few weeks ago.
It never occured to me that I will be put to the test over this exact same lesson so soon.
I hope this time I'll pass the test, instead of repeatedly stumbling over the same issues.
My God is patient and faithful, but I need to put my lessons into daily practice.
Relying on God's strength instead of my own isn't as simple as saying it. 
It's high time to actually do it.

"Because he loves me," says the LORD, 

"I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges My name. 

He will call upon me, and I will answer him; 

I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 

With long life will I satisfy him and show him My salvation." 

Psalms 91:14-16

"Papa ngga pulang, Beibeh...."

Papanya D lagi stase luar lagi. Kali ini di Kalimantan Timur, selama 2 bulan.

Puji Tuhan, mulainya stase ini (hampir) berbarengan sama mulainya liburan Lebaran di skul D. Jadi kami ngintil deh, 2 minggu ke Kalimantan :) Lumayan, pisahannya jadi lebih singkat dikiitt.

Diitung2, total 7 minggu sampe Papa pulang ke rumah.

Saya mikir2, kali ini mau bikin apa. Yang lalu kan kita pake stik es krim sebagai penanda waktu, buat bantu D yang masih belom ngeh banget soal waktu. Baca di sini kalo mau tau.

This time, saya pake 7 origami hewan, ditempel di tangkai (pake stik es krim lagi, yang udah ada aja, ngirit :P), and dicoblosin ke playdough. Dari pengalaman, biasanya homemade playdough tuh membusuk/berjamur dalam beberapa hari doang. Belum lagi ini musim kemarau, kalo segumpal playdough digeletakin gitu aja, itu mah ngundang semut utk datang berpesta. Jadi, diem2 saya lapisin seluruh permukaan luar playdough dengan kuteks bening. Diem2 supaya si D gak ikut2an or nanya2 kebanyakan huekekeke.... Namanya juga usaha, menyederhanakan hidup ;P

Belakangan dia nanya, kenapa itu playdough jadi keras? 

Trus nebak sendiri, Mama kasih apa, kitek ya? 

Tapi saya diem2 aja dah :P biar gak panjang urusannya, salah2 dia minta nyoba pula, hadooh...

Ini fotonya:

 

7 minggu Papa gak pulang...

Kalo gak jelas, itu hewannya:

1. ikan (yang ijo mengilap)

2. burung bangau/paper crane (kotak2 pink tua)

3. snail (kotak2 pink muda)

4. ulat/caterpillar (ijo/biru biku-biku)

5. kodok (pink)

6. kupu-kupu (merah mengilap)

7. penyu (bercorak)

Idenya masih sama, saban minggu kita cabut 1 origami, counting down to Papa’s homecoming. Kali ini saya pilih hari Senin, selain biar nambah semangat di awal minggu, juga karena awal bulan depan pas Papa (seharusnya) pulang jatuh di hari Selasa.

So, abis nyabut origami terakhir, besoknya Papa pulang, yaayyy...!

Supaya lebih asoy, setiap kali cabut 1 origami, malemnya kita pasang kembang api :)

Suaranya bikin tetangga pada kaget, huhahahah....

And, here’s how far we’ve come this week:

Sisa 3 lagi! :D :D

Yaaayyy!  \^_^/

Paling geli kalo udah denger si D nyanyi2 gak jelas, lagunya Dance Company yg hits sekitar 2 taon lalu: “Papa ngga pulaaannggg... Beibeh.... Papa bawa uaaaangggg... Beibeh....”

Wakakaka....

Papa, cepet pulang ya..... :)

While You Were Away

Week 3 out of 8.

Eight weeks of Papaw’s duty in some distant island.

In December. The most special month of the year. Birthdays, anniversary, Christmas, and New Year would have to be spent apart. Us on this distant island, Papaw on another.

It’s hard not to make a big deal out of it.
Especially when the kiddo is on maximum level of attachment with his papaw, and has been intensely idolizing him. The first week hadn’t even passed when one evening D suddenly stopped playing his legos and reached out to me, sobbing. He sobbed increasingly louder, eventually inconsolable. I asked him what was wrong (though I kinda already knew, I just wanted him to learn to recognise his feelings). Here’s what he answered:

“My heart hurts, Mommy, it hurts badly. I feel the devil’s hitting my heart, it really hurts. Huhuhu....”

Ouch.

Hearing such raw description hurts my heart too. I felt helpless. How was I supposed to comfort him: “Oh it’s OK, dear, Papaw will be home in about 7 weeks”? >_<

Adults can text, send instant messages, etc and keep in constant touch nearly all day long. But all the kid has are some short, interrupted phone calls (because of bad signal) and a few pictures his Papaw sent over blackberry. Skype’s not possible because hubby barely has internet connection working there. Video calls are unspeakable luxury (how do you make any video call when even phone calls rely solely on the mercy of current signals? And besides, the cost...).

Every time D heard the sound of our neighbours opening their fences, he would stop whatever he was doing, and asked me, “Is that papaw coming home?” Because that was usualy the first hint of papaw’s coming, the sound of him unlocking the padlock and sliding our metal fence open.

Another ouch.

Right before hubby left, I came across this cool blog, thus got the inspiration to make this:


Our "Countdown Sticks"

The idea is I placed eight sticks into this bottle, each stick represents a week of Papaw’s being away. We would get a stick out every week, so that Darren would get the idea how much longer it is until papaw comes home. I told him that after we take the last stick out, meaning the next day we would go pick up papaw at the airport (crossing my fingers for no flight delay or cancel!).
Before that, D seemed clueless about how long papaw would be away.

We also crossed out each day on the calendar, just like he usually did at school. But somehow that didn’t cut it with him. So the countdown sticks have been better.

Originally, Kristen, the blogger whose blog I mentioned before, would write fun stuffs on the sticks, so every time they took out a stick, they would go do what was written on it.  I couldn’t follow suit, because D has such a rigid way of thinking. When we say we would do A at a certain time, he would insist on doing A, no matter what.

“Insist” here means: “Let’s do A even though we gotta go through fire and storm, because if we don’t, I would keep talking and nagging and irritating you, that’s far worse than any fire or storm.”
If there is the tiniest possibility that A won’t be doable, we usually have an agreement in advance, that if X or Y happens that we can’t do A, then we would figure out what else to do, or promptly give option B as an alternative.

So, back to the sticks, I was worried that if we can’t follow through the written fun stuffs, he would be too upset or even have a meltdown (I’ve seen him melting down for far more trivial things). Of course I could have come up with small enough things that are more foolproof, but I didn’t get the chance to.

Well, the first 2 weeks were the worst (I hope!). With Christmas and New Year holiday, it’s been rather challenging to keep D (and myself) properly busy. We had our bad times, but it’s been pretty good. By God’s grace, we’re making the most of it :)

“Surely God is my help; the Lord is the One who sustains me.”

Psalm 54:4