Friday, November 18, 2011

That thing called AD(H)D

Due to the nature of this post, I decided to write it in English. In this way I'm hoping to get a broader scope of readers, get feedbacks also from non-Indonesian-speaking parents of AD(H)D children out there, and will hopefully be able to share with other moms outside my daily communities.

I realize that not many of you are familiar with this disorder, but I feel the need to be more knowledgeable and therefore spread the awareness and give some information about this disorder, although I'm not even properly well-informed about this matter.

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a complex developmental disorder. Wikipedia gives this definition:

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or attention deficit disorder (ADD) is a developmental disorder. It is primarily characterized by "the co-existence of attentional problems and hyperactivity, with each behavior occurring infrequently alone" and symptoms starting before seven years of age.

Visit these pages for more info, because this post can't possibly satisfy your curiosity or answer all your questions:

Or click here if you want to see some of the help videos on ADD/ADHD.

If you wonder whether or not your child has ADD/ADHD, visit this nice blog of moms with ADHD children, or this post for brief information. But I urge you to find a psychologist and/or a pediatrician who has expertise about ADD, ADHD and Autistic Spectrum, because not all psychologist or doctors or paediatrician are licensed to make the diagnosis or even familiar enough with the matter.

After you get all the basic infos, here's some misjudgements that I want to straighten (these remarks are summarized from the help videos and other resources above):

1. ADD/ADHD is NOT the result of bad parenting, it is caused by a dysfunction in the brain.

2. Children cannot be disciplined into not having ADHD, because it is a biological condition.

3. Children with ADD/ADHD cannot choose when to have their attention focused well, and cannot make their hyperactivity disappear by simply willing it to go away. It is not something that they can control, no matter how hard they try to.
This doesn't mean that you can't discipline them at all, but there are times when their behaviour is being caused by their brain condition.

4. Children with ADD/ADHD are often misjudged of having no empathy, morals, obedience, and the parents are often held condemned for being so themselves.

5. ADD/ADHD is not caused by poor diet or too much media exposure (TV, video games, computers, etc), but poor diet or too much media exposure can overstimulate children with ADD/ADHD and worsen the condition.

6. Children with ADD/ADHD are frequently accused of not trying, of being lazy and not being a good kid. Teachers get angry at them, classmates don’t like them or even treat them disrespectfully. (I quote this from Dr. James Dobson’s book, The New Strong Willed Child, page 241.)

Why am I writing about this?

Because my funny, smart, strong-willed and loveable nearly-4-year-old son has recently been suspected of having AD(H)D and Developmental Coordination Disorder.

This issue is still a huge, tangled, ball of messy lines of thoughts, burdens, and anxiety for us. We are still struggling to cope and deal with it, and still trying to find the most suitable solution and formula to handle this matter for the sake of our beloved son, and us, too.

The road ahead is going to be a long and winding journey, and we surely will have our ups and downs, but thankfully, we know the One who has been and is still carrying us, continuously: our Mighty Lord Jesus.

His grace WILL be sufficient, as it has always been.
May God's name be glorified in all this.

I look up to the mountains—

does my help come from there?

My help comes from the LORD,

who made heaven and earth!

He will not let you stumble;

the one who watches over you will not slumber.

Indeed, he who watches over Israel

never slumbers or sleeps.

The LORD himself watches over you!

The LORD stands beside you as your protective shade.

The sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon at night.

The LORD keeps you from all harm

and watches over your life.

The LORD keeps watch over you as you come and go,

both now and forever.



  1. blessedmommyoftwoFri May 31, 11:26:00 PM

    hi, thanks for sharing :) we have a 5 y.o. boy who is also high-spirited LOL :). have you looked into SPD? (Sensory Processing Disorder), the reason I mention this because your son sounds a lot like ours, very active and opinionated :) the psychologists told us, they usually will not diagnose before age 7 or 8 and they think it might be SPD because loud voices and certain textures (including clothing material, food) really make him uncomfortable, when those stuffs occur, then he becomes very opinionated and choosy. Despite their quirky ways LOL :), I believe our kids are perfect in their own ways,God made them and will use them in HIS wonderful ways for HIS glory. this verse give me new strength every time so I would like to share it with you :), always reminds me to do the best as parents but let God leads the way :). God Bless you and family.

    For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.

  2. Hi, thanks for reading! May I know your name? Do you have a blog or any page?
    Thanks for the input and sharing and the verse. We did look into SPD, but apart from some food allergy, our boy doesn't seem to have obvious sensory problems. He gets overwhelmed and overstimulated mainly by his own activities, excitement, and crowd around him. And other than that, he has a lot of difficulties focusing and easily distracted.
    It's often times heartbreaking to see how he struggles daily. But you are SO RIGHT, they ARE perfect in their own ways. Thanks for the reminder! I need to make conscious efforts to not want too badly to fit in or conform with the mainstream :) Aren't we Christians called to be different from the world in the first place? Thanks again for commenting and sharing, looking forward to hear from you again! :)


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