Toilet Missed

A few weeks ago, I proclaimed that Darren was officially toilet trained.
Well he kinda was, and I already stopped putting his diapers on during the day for nearly two months now.
But please know that he does miss once in a while.

I don’t want to intimidate any other mommies out there by unfairly telling only the “ups” and not the “downs”. So, here’s one of the “downs”.

Darren peed in his pants last week.
He did said “PEE”, but it was only about three seconds before his “water broke”, when I was frantically trying to haul him to the toilet.
Where did this happen? No, unfortunately, not at home. In Sunday School! Ouch!
Although it was a little bit embarassing, considering how much I had bragged about him being off diapers, I managed to hold on to the primary rule of toilet training: NEVER discourage him by stressing on his errors or showing him too much, if any, disappointment. (I made that rule.)

So, I looked at him and smiled, saying that it was OK and that he should tell me BEFORE his next urge to pee. The fact that he took the whole thing easily and was already off to play within a few seconds was as a good sign of his mental state regarding his toilet training.

Among his other excellence, to tell you the truth, being toilet trained so early is one of Darren’s most surprising and fulfilling development.
To mommies out there who might be curious, here’s some toilet training tips (I’m also writing this to keep a note for myself, in case I’m having more kids –nope, SO not in the near future-) :

1. Keep in mind that you’re not TRAINING him, you’re SHOWING him the right place to pee/poop.

2. During the day, since early on, let him pee in his pants so he learns to feel the sensation of peeing and being wet (in Indonesia, mommies generally don’t use disposable diapers as much as mommies in the West. Personally, I think this helps. Although I must remind you, it’s oh SO MESSY!!)

3. At some 5 or 6 months, bring him to pee in the bathroom (I held Darren in my arms and “aimed” his pee into the toilet bowl), regardless he pees or not. Make it regular (some once or twice a day and gradually more frequent as he grows older), but keep in mind, DON’T EVER BE PUSHY (don’t expect him to pee every time you try, and don’t be disappointed if he doesn’t).

4. Make the point number 3 as fun as you can.

5. If he does pee into the toilet, PRAISE him with all your might. Make him understand (gradually, as he grows older) exactly why you praise him.

6. Once he’s able to sit up, sit him on a potty on the toilet bowl to pee or poop (remember, NEVER LEAVE HIM ALONE in the bathroom!).

7. Don’t compare him to other kids or set targets. Kids are different. Accept and love your kid as he is, that’s the best encouragement.

8. And, as I said before, NEVER discourage him by stressing on his errors or showing him too much, if any, disappointment. Together, celebrate his success, and underrate his un-success (make sure you encourage him if ever you feel a pinch of disappointment on his side). He’ll eventually think of peeing or pooping into the toilet as his personal achievement.

That’s all, I guess. By the time Darren learned to speak, he immediately told us when he needed to go. If I remembered correctly, it was when he reached 13 months of age.
At that time, he didn’t always mean it when he said “PEE” or “POOP”. Sometimes he just made fun of it, sometimes he just wanted to watch our urgency.

I guess one of the key to success was not expecting too much and just let things flow. When he’s ready, he’s ready.

Good luck, mommies ^______^

Update

Hello friends...

Haven’t written any post lately. Been busy with a few guests, etc. etc.
Also busier because Darren’s nanny doesn’t work anymore. So, Darren’s now happily hanging out with Mommy and Daddy ALL day long.

It’s pretty tiring, but I think I’m happier now because I get to spend more time with him and less time doing unnecessary stuffs (I tend to dwell in unaccomplishing activities, I wonder why...). Although it also means that I have less time doing the really necessary ones, like doing my freelance-translating job, stay up-to-date with my dearest friends abroad using the internet, etc.

So I’m trying to be more organized and responsible with my time. Which is a good exercise.
Nonetheless, as far as I can see, our family’s happier.
Hopefully this happiness will last, not ending with Mommy’s frustration like some not-so-happy moments in the past, when I wasn’t well adapted with my new life as a Mom yet hehehe...

So maybe from now on I won’t be writing as often as I did before.

Also, as Darren gets older, most of our daily experience includes his language development (which has been EXCELLENT!), and that’s kinda not-too-interesting to share in other language (English).

Anyway, I found a cute likeness in these two pics a few weeks ago.
I had to ask Hubby’s permission before I spread this particular pic (of him). Lucky for you, like I said before, he LOVES having the spotlight on him. That’s the main reason of his cooperation. And besides, these pics are too cute to keep to ourselves.

Please do feel free to comment! ^___^

Old wives' tale

My Mother in Law, who lives in a town in central Java, has been in town to help out my SIL (hubby’s younger sister) during her delivery. SIL recently gave birth to a son through a C-section.
Having MIL around at our place has been pretty entertaining.
Here’s why.

My MIL’s the kind of a very traditional Javanese woman (her father was Chinese and her mother was a Javanese). She was raised with the mindset of how a woman should be devoted to her husband, with the custom of being EXTREMELY polite, even to the point of enduring unnecessary misery, etc. etc.
Even so, she’s rather liberal when it comes to what’s perceived as social taboos in Indonesian community. For example, she could talk casually about sex, as if it were a cartoon movie. I was shocked to find out about this just a couple of years ago, but I’m kinda used to it now, hehehe...

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, MIL conveyed my SIL (my BIL’s wife)’s question, if it was true that to conceive a boy, the wife has to be “hotter” than the husband. By hotter I mean more sexually horny. BWAHAHAHAHA....
I struggled so hard not to laugh out loud at that very moment.
Imagine what SIL had thought of me, my first child being a boy?
Or even MIL herself, who had 4 sons?

Some myths can be so misleading.... And more astonishing, even the most misleading ones of them have believers...

Quotes of the day

Sidonie Gruenberg:
Home is the place where boys and girls first learn how to limit their wishes, abide by rules, and consider the rights and needs of others.

Tenneva Jordan:
A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.


Elaine Heffner:
Women do not have to sacrifice personhood if they are mothers. They do not have to sacrifice motherhood in order to be persons. Liberation was meant to expand women's opportunities, not to limit them. The self-esteem that has been found in new pursuits can also be found in mothering.

Toilet Training Tricks

Our beloved Darren is now officially “GRADUATED” from our Toilet Training Course ^___^

Although he’s been able to say “pee... pee...” when he needs to pee since as early as 13 months, he only learned to say “poo...poo...” and truly meant so since around 15 months of age.
Now at 16 months, our triumphs have been consistent enough to be called official.
Darren no longer needs diapers except for nighttime sleeps; and that’s just because Mommy doesn’t want messy wet sheets.

Darren still pees in his sleeps sometimes, but this will take some 4-5 years to conquer, so let’s give him all the time he needs for this one, shall we?
For the time being, he’s been doing a wonderful job as a young toddler, and we’re so proud of him.

But he did learn another thing from toilet training: a chance to “escape” from our bedroom when it’s already high time for him to sleep.
Whenever he has difficulty sleeping -which happens almost everyday-, he would toss around the bed, and then says “pee... pee...”
At first, I would hurrily bring him to the bathroom to pee, then he would pee just a few tiny drops. The second time around, he would just call and point at his favorite things in the bathroom and did not pee at all!
Since then on, I never take him back to the bathroom when we’re in bed and ready to sleep, so long as I made sure he did have a good pee beforehand.

Too bad for mischievous little Darren, Mommy’s also a fast learner ^___^