Mommy's Journey, Laugh and Share

Ibu RT oh ibu RT...

2012-02-06T11:07:00.001+08:00

Dulu, waktu kecil kalo anak-anak perempuan ditanya, “Nanti kalo udah gede mau jadi apa?”

Pasti jawabnya kalo ngga “dokter” ya “pramugari”, iya apa iya?

Kayanya ga pernah denger anak kecil jawab “mau jadi kayak mama di rumah” alias jadi ibu RT. Padahal jadi ibu RT itu enak loh…

Kalo jadi dokter mah seringnya kudu jaga malem, dimarah2in pasien or temen kerja (dokter laen or perawat yg merasa dirinya lebih senior), risiko ketularan penyakit2.

Jadi pramugari juga emangnya enak? Penampilan sih keren, kerjaan juga terbang2 mulu, tapi tau ngga sih pramugari juga kudu mungutin sampah di pesawat, belom lagi risiko pesawat jatuh! (amit2…)

Nah jadi ibu RT mah enak. Kerja di rumah, ga usah ribet dandan, ga usah buru2 mandi pagi, saban malem bisa tidur cukup (asal bisa bagi waktu), kadang malah bisa plus tidur siang, ga stres kejebak macet jalanan (at least sebelom anak2 mulai masuk sekolah), gak ada boss galak or klien reseh yang kudu “dijilat”, dll. Hati senang dan tenang krn bisa ngawasin anak2 dg mata kepala sendiri, ga kuatir anak dibawa kabur suster or diapa2in ama pembantu.

Lantas kenapa ya, profesi ibu RT ini kok gak populer2 amat?

Mungkin krn di zaman milenium ini sejak orok SEMUA anak udah dicekokin pola pikir bahwa sukses diukur dari pencapaian seseorang dalam hal karir, status, pasangan, banyaknya harta, atau nama besar&kemasyuran.

“Liat tuh, si A, hebat! Umur baru 20an udah keliling dunia jadi pembicara di mana2, suaminya tuh brand ambassador kolor terkenal, wuih duitnya pasti segunung…”

atau

“Ih si B itu aneh ya, prestasi segudang, karir cemerlang, tapi udah punya anak kok malah resign, padahal pasti duitnya lebih dari cukup buat ngegaji suster&pembokat?”

atau

“Yah, ngapain sekolah tinggi2 sampe ke luar negri segala, kalo ujung2nya cuman jadi ibu rumah tangga? Pembokat gue noh lebih pinter, ga pake susah2 sekolah, toh sama2 mendarat di dapur juga…”

So, jadi ibu RT identik dengan TIDAK MENCAPAI APA2 dalam hidup alias tidak sukses.

Padahal KESUKSESAN MENURUT TUHAN ADALAH KALO SESEORANG MENGGENAPI MAKSUD&TUJUAN DIA DICIPTAKAN. Karena saat kita dipanggil Tuhan, harta, status dan pasangan hidup tidak bisa dibawa ke akhirat!

Alasan kedua, mungkin akibat emansipasi yang keblinger.

Dengan segala hormat dan rasa terima kasih yang mendalam kepada ibu Kartini yang udah buka jalan buat perempuan2 Indonesia sehingga bisa maju&menikmati berbagai kesempatan yang dulu ga pernah bisa disentuh oleh perempuan, sepertinya perempuan2 zaman sekarang TERLENA.

Alih-alih menikmati kesetaraan dengan pria dalam hal kesempatan sekolah, kerja dan aspek2 lain dalam hidup, perempuan2 sekarang kok pada pengen MENYAMAI, malah ada yang begitu bernafsu mau membuktikan bahwa dirinya bisa MELEBIHI laki-laki. Memang bener, dalam hal prestasi, pencapaian, kemampuan, de el-el memang BANYAK perempuan yang bisa lebih dari laki-laki; ini sih tentu aja ga salah, tapi rasanya tujuan mula-mula emansipasi itu bukan supaya perempuan2 berbondong-bondong melupakan kodratnya sebagai perempuan. Kesetaraan jender dan persamaan derajat TIDAK SAMA dengan menyamai laki-laki dalam segala bidang.

Karena sejak awal Tuhan emang menciptakan laki-laki dan perempuan BERBEDA. SEPADAN, tapi berbeda. Sepadan dalam arti yang satu tidak lebih tinggi atau lebih rendah dari yang lain. Berbeda secara fisik, mental, dan beda juga “job description”-nya. Perbedaan itu tujuannya supaya keduanya saling melengkapi, saling mengisi, saling menolong, en sama-sama berusaha mewujudkan tujuan penciptaannya.

Dan para ibu RT terkadang dianggap mengkhianati cita-cita emansipasi atau menyebabkan kemunduran dalam perjuangan kaum wanita di dunia.

Padahal, waktu menciptakan perempuan, Tuhan bilang begini nih:

“Tidak baik kalau manusia itu seorang diri saja.

Aku akan menjadikan penolong baginya, yang sepadan dengan dia.”

Kejadian 2:18

Jadi perempuan itu diciptakan UNTUK laki-laki dan KARENA laki-laki. Untuk setiap perempuan dengan panggilan untuk hidup melajang, Tuhan punya rencana dan rancangan tersendiri yang unik, so kalo timbul pertanyaan tentang the gift of singleness, tanya Tuhan aja ya, jangan tanya saya ;)

Tapi secara umum, pakemnya adalah perempuan diciptakan untuk menolong laki-laki dalam mencapai tujuan penciptaan mereka, yaitu mempermuliakan Tuhan Penciptanya dalam menggenapi rancangan Ilahi-Nya buat umat manusia.

Bukan berarti ibu-ibu bekerja itu salah, SAMA SEKALI BUKAN itu maksud saya loh ya! Saya percaya setiap orang, perempuan maupun laki-laki, punya PANGGILAN masing-masing dalam hidupnya. Panggilan yang khusus yang beda dengan panggilan hidup orang lain.

Beberapa teman saya adalah ibu-ibu bekerja full time yang SANGAT BERDEDIKASI, anak-anaknya terurus dengan baik, suaminya berbahagia dan dicintai, rumah tangganya diberkati. My utmost salutation goes out to them, krn menyeimbangkan kerjaan full time dengan keluarga sama sekali tidak gampang dan ada pergumulannya sendiri. Tapi ini cerita yang berbeda ya. Sekarang tulisan ini ngebahas serba-serbi ibu RT dulu :P

Yang saya mau bilang adalah:

JADI IBU RT PUN ADALAH SATU PANGGILAN HIDUP, YANG TIDAK KURANG KEREN, TIDAK KURANG MULIA, TIDAK KURANG BERMAKNA DIBANDING PANGGILAN-PANGGILAN HIDUP YANG LAIN.

Curhat nih, jadi ibu RT tuh buanyaaak banget loh pergumulannya, di antaranya:

1. Miskin penghargaan, baik dari orang lain maupun dari diri sendiri. Gak dapet gaji, gak dapet nama besar, gak dapet cuti, gak dapet tatapan penuh rasa terima kasih selain dari suami (itu pun kalo suaminya cukup peka!) dan anak-anak. Yang ada bete krn seharian ngurusin anak, jenuh karena kerjaan RT yang NEVERENDING, gak ada abisnya, ga ada “me time”, de el el, de es te termasuk menanggung occupational hazard alias luka-luka akibat kerja RT (luka bakar, kesayat pisau, kesetrum, or memar2), aish….. T.T

2. Adanya stigma yang melekat erat pada profesi ini: Ibu RT identik dengan perempuan yang kayanya gak cukup pintar untuk kerja or lanjutin sekolah atau gak cukup berprestasi.

--> Well untuk yang satu ini, saya bisa bilang, saya pinter kok! Hahahahah….. At least saya pinter berkelit kalo anak udah mulai cari celah untuk memanipulasi ibunya ;)

3. Bergumul dengan kurangnya aktualisasi diri. Pergumulan ini terutama dirasakan oleh para ibu RT yang (DULUNYA) berprestasi, atau sangat diharapkan oleh keluarganya.

4. Adanya kekecewaan orangtua atau keluarga yang lain dengan pilihan para ibu RT untuk tidak bekerja dan berkarya.

5. Para ibu RT yang pernah bekerja atau menjalankan profesinya, merindukan “the glory of the moments” ketika menjalankan profesi, pekerjaan atau panggilannya dan kepuasan batin yang didapat dulu.

6. GERAH (BANGET) dengan komentar2 miring dari orang-orang yang menyayangkan keputusan mereka untuk jadi ibu RT.
--> Sekedar catatan: kalo saya dapet 1 ember setiap kali orang berkomentar “Kenapa ga kerja? Sayang udah sekolah tinggi2..” atau sejenisnya, ember2 saya kayanya cukup buat nampung luapan lumpur Lapindo… # lebay #

7. Perlu KOMITMEN yang kuat, KETEGUHAN HATI dan dukungan penuh dari suami dan anak2 untuk menjalani panggilan sebagai ibu RT dengan PENUH SUKACITA dan KEPUASAN BATIN.

Tapi, meskipun banyak onak duri (cie ileh... bahasa pujangga nih), you know what, wahai ibu2 RT?

What you do MATTERS and makes a HUGE DIFFERENCE!

Apa yang kamu lakukan itu SANGAT BERARTI dan membuat PERBEDAAN BESAR!

Bukan cuman buat suami, anak dan keluarga, tapi juga bagi kerajaan Surga, krn kita ini punya tugas berat: mencetak generasi penerus yang Ilahi bagi Tuhan, yang kelak pada gilirannya bakal meneruskan ajaran Tuhan kepada keturunan mereka.

Ini kata firman Tuhan tentang panggilan sebagai istri dan ibu:

Isteri yang cakap siapakah akan mendapatkannya?

Ia lebih berharga daripada permata…

Anak-anaknya bangun, dan menyebutnya berbahagia,

pula suaminya memuji dia:

Banyak wanita telah berbuat baik,

tetapi kau melebihi mereka semua.

Kemolekan adalah bohong

dan kecantikan adalah sia-sia,

tetapi isteri yang takut akan TUHAN dipuji-puji.

Berilah kepadanya bagian dari hasil tangannya,

biarlah perbuatannya memuji dia

di pintu-pintu gerbang!

Amsal 31:10, 28-31

So, jadi ibu RT (baca: istri) yang saleh tuh ADA PENGHARGAANnya loh, dari Tuhan sendiri! Nantikan saja…

Akhir kata, izinkan saya mengutip kalimat dari kotbahnya Nancy Leigh de Moss, seorang penulis buku laris dan pengajar Firman Tuhan yang juga punya program radio untuk para wanita kristen:

(klik di sini untuk denger langsung or download kotbahnya plus kotbah2 lain dlm seri Revive Our Hearts, BUAGUS BANGET, dijamin!)

what I am doing in writing books and teaching, having a daily radio program for women—I consider those things a great privilege and a calling from the Lord as He has given me the gift of singleness at least for this season of my life. This is my calling and mission and purpose. But I will say that what you are doing, those of you who are married and have children, in being wives and mothers is NO LESS SIGNIFICANT a calling and ministry than the calling God has put into my life.

I want to be your cheerleader. I want to say, “Go for it! Thank you for what you’re doing to serve the Lord and consider that a high calling and ministry.”

That thing called AD(H)D

2011-11-18T08:48:00.001+08:00

Due to the nature of this post, I decided to write it in English. In this way I'm hoping to get a broader scope of readers, get feedbacks also from non-Indonesian-speaking parents of AD(H)D children out there, and will hopefully be able to share with other moms outside my daily communities.

I realize that not many of you are familiar with this disorder, but I feel the need to be more knowledgeable and therefore spread the awareness and give some information about this disorder, although I'm not even properly well-informed about this matter.

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a complex developmental disorder. Wikipedia gives this definition:

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or attention deficit disorder (ADD) is a developmental disorder. It is primarily characterized by "the co-existence of attentional problems and hyperactivity, with each behavior occurring infrequently alone" and symptoms starting before seven years of age.

Visit these pages for more info, because this post can't possibly satisfy your curiosity or answer all your questions:
http://www.add-adhdinfo.com/
http://www.adhd-clarity.com/

Or click here if you want to see some of the help videos on ADD/ADHD.

If you wonder whether or not your child has ADD/ADHD, visit this nice blog of moms with ADHD children, or this post for brief information. But I urge you to find a psychologist and/or a pediatrician who has expertise about ADD, ADHD and Autistic Spectrum, because not all psychologist or doctors or paediatrician are licensed to make the diagnosis or even familiar enough with the matter.

After you get all the basic infos, here's some misjudgements that I want to straighten (these remarks are summarized from the help videos and other resources above):

1. ADD/ADHD is NOT the result of bad parenting, it is caused by a dysfunction in the brain.

2. Children cannot be disciplined into not having ADHD, because it is a biological condition.

3. Children with ADD/ADHD cannot choose when to have their attention focused well, and cannot make their hyperactivity disappear by simply willing it to go away. It is not something that they can control, no matter how hard they try to.
This doesn't mean that you can't discipline them at all, but there are times when their behaviour is being caused by their brain condition.

4. Children with ADD/ADHD are often misjudged of having no empathy, morals, obedience, and the parents are often held condemned for being so themselves.

5. ADD/ADHD is not caused by poor diet or too much media exposure (TV, video games, computers, etc), but poor diet or too much media exposure can overstimulate children with ADD/ADHD and worsen the condition.

6. Children with ADD/ADHD are frequently accused of not trying, of being lazy and not being a good kid. Teachers get angry at them, classmates don’t like them or even treat them disrespectfully. (I quote this from Dr. James Dobson’s book, The New Strong Willed Child, page 241.)

Why am I writing about this?

Because my funny, smart, strong-willed and loveable nearly-4-year-old son has recently been suspected of having AD(H)D and Developmental Coordination Disorder.

This issue is still a huge, tangled, ball of messy lines of thoughts, burdens, and anxiety for us. We are still struggling to cope and deal with it, and still trying to find the most suitable solution and formula to handle this matter for the sake of our beloved son, and us, too.

The road ahead is going to be a long and winding journey, and we surely will have our ups and downs, but thankfully, we know the One who has been and is still carrying us, continuously: our Mighty Lord Jesus.

His grace WILL be sufficient, as it has always been.
May God's name be glorified in all this.

I look up to the mountains—

does my help come from there?

My help comes from the LORD,

who made heaven and earth!

He will not let you stumble;

the one who watches over you will not slumber.

Indeed, he who watches over Israel

never slumbers or sleeps.

The LORD himself watches over you!

The LORD stands beside you as your protective shade.

The sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon at night.

The LORD keeps you from all harm

and watches over your life.

The LORD keeps watch over you as you come and go,

both now and forever.

PSALM 121

Isteri?

2011-10-18T09:32:00.001+08:00

Percakapan di perjalanan ke sekolah tadi pagi:

D(arren) : Maw, D pengen mamaw jadi isteli.
M(amaw) : ?? Maksudnya mamaw jadi isterinya D, gitu?
D : Iya.... *sambil senyum2*
M : Ga bisa dong, mamaw kan isterinya papaw.
D : Tapi D maunya mamaw jadi istelinya D aja. Soalnya mamaw kulitnya halus...
M : Wkwkwkw... (harap maklum, nih anak lagi terobsesi kulit putih dan halus) D berdoa, supaya nanti kalo udah besar, Tuhan kasih D isteri yg mengasihi Tuhan ya.
D : Tapi D halus galak sama teman2 maw...
M : Kenapa galak?
D : Supaya teman2 ngga gigit2 D. Jadi D halus galak, ngga bisa mengasihi, ngga bisa cali isteli sekalang...
M : Ya iya, nanti cari isterinya kalo udah besar. Sekarang mah belom waktunya... ^__^

Asli pengen ketawa kalo inget percakapan ini.... Ternyata di usia 3 taun anak udah mulai kepikir tentang pasangan hidup ya :)

Jadi diingetin lagi untuk rajin2 doain pasangan hidup buat anak(-anak)ku. There's no such things as too soon to pray for their future spouses. The world has grown to be so evil and broken, our children need all the support and prayers they can get, to live their lives according to God's will.

Ayo2, para wanita-nya Tuhan, semangat terus jadi pilar doa buat keluarga ya! ^__^

Putri Indonesia

2011-10-11T10:27:00.001+08:00

Posting kali ini gak ada hubungannya sama motherhood. Gak papa lah ya (dilarang protes, ini kan blog gue hehehehe...)

Tempo hari kebeneran nonton secuprit akhir dari acara siaran ulang Pemilihan Putri Indonesia 2011. Cuman liat di bagian final question 3 besar doang.

Ada yang nonton gak?

Nah ceritanya 3 besar itu putri2 dari Jawa Tengah, Jawa Timur, and Sulawesi Selatan. Pas giliran ditanya 1 pertanyaan akhir yang sama buat semua kontestan, putri Jatim dapet giliran pertama, 2 putri yang laen nunggu sambil pake headset (biar gak nguping gitu).

Pertanyaannya kurang lebih gini lah: "Apa rahasianya yang bikin Anda bisa jadi seperti Anda yang sekarang?"

Bola mata gue membesar segede jengkol pas denger jawaban si putri Jatim, namanya Liza Elly Purnama Sari, yang dengan lantang menyebut, "Rahasia saya bisa berdiri di sini adalah karena berkat dari Tuhan Yesus Kristus bla bla bla... dan yang kedua adalah orangtua saya bla bla bla..."

Klik di sini kalo mau liat langsung cuplikannya: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhaKigG3lRI

Wow. WOW!!

I can imagine being in her place (superdupergaktaudiri haha), mungkin gue bakal sebut "Tuhan Yang Mahaesa", kayanya itu aja udah cukup ya buat mensyukuri dan mengakui Dia sebagai yang terutama dalam hidupku. But nope, she didn't do what I would have done.

She stood there, on stage dipelototin berjuta pasang mata di depan panggung and di layar tivi, a step away from being the most beautiful Indonesian princess yang bakal mewakili nama negeri ini di panggung internasional, dengan segambreng hadiah dan fasilitas dan masa depan yang menjanjikan. Being a minority as she is, she could have chosen to "soften" her statement of faith, supaya dapet nilai lebih di mata juri and kemungkinan menangnya lebih besar.

But liat sendiri what she did, dengan yakin dan lantang tanpa ragu menyebut nama Tuhan Allah yang dia sembah (berulang kali, gak cuman sekali), dengan segala risiko dan kemungkinan yang menyertainya. I'm sure Bapa di surga senyum lebar melihatnya. Dia memberkati banyak orang termasuk gue!

Wow again :)

Gue bukan cuma terberkati dengan jawabannya mbak Liza, tapi juga terinspirasi. Tertempelak, tergebok, you name it lah....

Selama ini untuk urusan yang kecil-kecil aja gue suka "toleransi". Misalnya contoh waktu bikin CV buat ngelamar kerja. Nah kalo gue ngelamar di tempat yang sekuler, yang lebih gue tekankan tuh riwayat kerja di tempat-tempat yang sosial atau kemanusiaan daripada tempat-tempat yang membawa nama Tuhan. Bukan berbohong, tapi lebih menekankan ke yang laen, supaya gak dipersulit gitu kesempatan gue untuk dapetin kerjaan yang gue lamar.

Malu gue... :P

So, big thanks to mbak Liza, meskipun runner up 1, you're the champion in my heart!! Thanks for the inspiration! ^__^

Glory to God!

"Setiap orang yang mengakui Aku di depan manusia,

Aku juga akan mengakuinya di depan Bapa-Ku yang di surga.

Tetapi siapa saja yang menyangkal Aku di depan manusia, Aku juga akan menyangkalnya di depan Bapa-Ku yang di surga."

Matius 10:32-33

Slamat slamat datang

2011-10-07T10:18:00.000+08:00

Yuhuuuu kawan2....

Selamat menikmati blogku dengan wajah barunya ^_^

Buat Anda2 sekalian yang bahasa ibunya Bahasa Indonesia, semoga lebih enjoy bacanya ya..

Aku masih beginner nih ama urusan design n template2an. Dari tadi ngutik2 sampe udah bosennn... Tapi puas kan liat hasilnya? *kudu puas!* (maksa ih)

Eniwe, just wanna share a laughter of my day.

Percakapan ini terjadi di rumah, antara Mamaw dan Darren.

D : Maw, temen D si And itu suka bilang "botok", gitu Maw. Itu engga boleh ya?
M : Botok itu artinya apa? (gak ngerti bahasa lokal)
D : Kan Stv itu lambutnya botak maw....
M : (mulai ngeh) Iya dong ngga boleh bilang begitu. Kan Stv itu ciptaan Tuhan, ciptaan Tuhan semua baik.
D : (geleng2 penuh semangat) Engga, engga Maw, D ga ikutan bilang "botok"!
M : (bangga) Wah, good itu D, I'm so proud of you!
D : Tapi D bilang "botak!"
M : (DUER!!! Gubrak brak GEDUBRAK sampe keliyengan @.@ ) Ga baik kaya gitu ya, nanti Tuhan sedih, karena walopun rambutnya tipis, Stv itu ganteng, dia ciptaan Tuhan.

Have a good day, dear readers! ^__^

Switch Language

2011-10-06T10:19:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking about switching the language of my postings.
To be really honest, I'm not too comfortable using english for my postings haha..

At first I decided to use english, because I had no friends in blogosphere at all, except for the only one friend who introduced me to blogging world in the first place. Visit her blog here if you're curious.
Anyway, she's an Indonesian girl who married a Finnish guy and moved to Finland. She started blogging first out of boredom, then she found an circle of friends in the blogosphere. I was "allured" to join her. So I kinda "had to" use english, so I could communicate with her friends.

I've now found my own community. Mostly Indonesian moms. So I'm switching my posting language into my mother tongue yaay!!

To Daniel Huisman, the only consistent follower who is not an Indonesian but had started to learn Bahasa Indonesia, well I'm sure you'll find reading postings in Bahasa would actually be helpful in your learning hehehe....

So, dear readers, I guess I'll see you all around, with a different tone. I should be more expressive in my mother tongue haha ^__^

Milestone: Milk teeth

2011-10-04T09:55:00.001+08:00

When I observe every milestone my child reaches, I’m always in awe.

Back in Med School, I learnt that typically, a child grows his first tooth when he reaches 6 month of age. That’s when he’s supposed to start weaning, learning to eat solids, and being off of exclusive breastmilk. Right after growing his first incisor teeth, he grows his molars first (instead of canines, which actually are located right next to incisor teeth), then way after that, at 2 years old, he would finally grow his canines. Why is that? Because moms usually (and are recommended to) breastfeed their babies until 2 years of age. If the child grows his canines beforehand, imagine how painful it is for the breastfeeding mommy!

My currently 3 years and 9 months old boy, has been brushing his teeth on his own without help for some time now. He even cleans his toothbrush afterwards, without help (although the quality of the cleaning is still questionable haha). Sometimes I wonder if he brushes clean enough, so once in a while I would insist on helping him, and he would firmly refuse my help. I know I need to refrain from wanting to help him, but sometimes it’s difficult, coz I’m just worried if his tooth would decay from lack of proper brushing.

For that I reminded myself, that it’s now time for Darren to take care of his own teeth independently. About the tooth decay stuffs I just leave it all to God, because there’s another impending milestone in about 2 years time: the replacement of baby teeth with adult teeth. I guess I’ll just sit back, relax, and let nature take its course, besides, Darren would be better and better in cleaning himself in the days to come. ^__^

Celebrating 9 years of togetherness

2011-09-14T13:23:00.000+08:00

Wow.

9 years.

Nine years ago, today, there was this young man falling in love with this young woman. He had been praying for her before he took courage to tell her that he had feelings for her.

She was totally shocked.

Clueless, she had been teasing him about his always being near her for the past two weeks. She had been jokingly accusing him of having romantic feelings for her.
Upon hearing such precise "accusation", he could only grin awkwardly.

It took her a couple of minutes to recover from her shock of his confession, and she could only mumble two awkward words: "Thank you".
After several minutes, she was finally able to say, "Let's pray about this and see God's will."
He said, "Oh I have been praying for you, for two weeks now. But as for now, let's both pray for it."

~ Fast forward 3 years ~

A mission field, Borneo.

The same young man and woman sit on the couch of a lovely wooden livingroom, on a warm, sunny afternoon. A wise, Godly old lady was praying for them and with them. Asking for God's guidance for taking this flourishing relationship to another level.
Both the young man and woman learnt a lot from the lady's experience in 4 decades of inspiring marriage to a wonderful missionary doctor. She told them not just the sugar and spice and all the nice things a marriage could bring, but also the land mines and potential chasms and abysses. And still some more that they would have to learn on their own.

~ Fast forward another 3 years ~

In yet another part of the world, the man and the woman -still young, but not THAT young now :)- sat side by side in their own humble livingroom. In a nearby bedroom, a precious little boy was fast asleep. They recalled over how far it had been since the event 9 years before. They reminisce over the tides and ebbs of life. The dynamics of a man and a woman's journey together.

Thus far they concluded, what matters most is one word. It is called COMMITMENT.
Commitment to God, creator of man and woman and marriage. Commitment to each other.
Commitment to accept, commitment to forgive, commitment to let go of the unnecessary. Commitment to bear with one another no matter what.

Ever since the fateful day 9 years before, they still pray together. Even more keenly. That the merciful God Creator would guide them through the years ahead. Not knowing what the future holds doesn't matter. They know who holds the future.

Gates of Independence

2011-09-04T11:10:00.000+08:00

It's the year of indepence. Both for Mommy and for Darren.

Darren's been going to Sunday School on his own for the last few weeks. By 'on his own', I mean I dropped him at SS right on time, then I (and hubby, whenever he was off duty) joined the sunday service for adults. After SS is over, we would pick Darren from his SS class, or he would come and join us in adult service.

FYI, for Sunday School, they always hold a brief, collective praise n worship service for children aged 0 - 6 before separating them in different classes for different ages when it was time for Bible story-telling. In this way, children get their portions of Biblical teachings according to their current understanding & development.

I used to wonder, whether Darren could find his way to class without getting lost in the crowd going in different directions. His sense of direction is still developing, sometimes he doesn't know where to turn, left or right, to get back to where I was standing, i.e. when we're in a familiar bookstore (with tall rows of bookshelves), or at church. I can imagine, being only a meter-tall or something, things must be pretty confusing.
Heck, even I myself still find my sense of direction poor :P

Anyway, it turned out that he found his way, easily!
Even better yet, no separation anxiety whatsoever, unlike the majority of his SS classmates.

To me, it felt liberating. It's the day that I (we) have been looking forward to, impatiently sometimes. But at some point, it was also touchy. I know you mommies out there know exactly what I'm talking about, some other moms had also told me their own stories of their children entering the first gates of childhood independence. It felt surreal. We would remember the days of their annoying clingy-ness, refusing to let go of mommy's hands (or even legs!!) in SS or at school. And remember way back when they were still learning to walk, or even waaayyy back to the very first time they were put in your arms.

And it's only been a little over 3 years. There will be other gates of independence. Wonder how those would taste :)

3BT

2011-09-01T18:25:00.000+08:00

One of my oldest best friends inspired me to do this: 3 BT (3 Beautiful Things).
The idea is to find at least 3 beautiful things you encounter in your daily lives, and share them. Be creative and try to write different things, as various as possible, of unique perspectives.

I never really thought of how good this 3 BT idea was, until this friend of mine became so eloquent in it. She finds and shares even the “tiniest” things in life, so I’m inspired to find my own daily blessings, big or small, and thus learn to be more grateful, because some blessings are “invisible” unless you train yourself to count them. To read her 3 BT, you can check her blog Amel’s Realm here

I can’t wait to learn this lesson on being grateful, and share it with you ^__^
Here goes:

1. Having such an inspirational friend(s) from whom I can learn good things on my walk on this planet.
2. No emergency patient for hubby today, so we could spend a lot of time together. Such RARE event, yaaayyyy!!!! ^__^
3. Darren can finally pedal a bicycle (with 2 additional little wheels for balance) correctly. He’d been pedaling with only his right foot going up and down (I hope you can imagine what I’m trying to say). It’s awesome to see how much our little boy has grown (he’s 3,5 years old, btw, or you can check Darren’s age ticker down below this blog).
4. Having some time (and mood) to blog again :)
5. Hearing a good news that would likely lead to another good news :)
6. Waiting for God’s wonderful ways unfolding, enthusiastic and impatient as I sometimes am, even the wait itself is pleasing. (I’m trying to enjoy the present as well as hoping and striving for our future.)
7. Feeling enthusiastic, because of the below reason:

Well, please do share your own 3 BTs, and write it in the comment box below, or post it in your blog and let me know where to read it!

“Ucaplah syukur senantiasa atas segala sesuatu dalam nama Tuhan kita Yesus Kristus kepada Allah dan Bapa kita” - Efesus 5:20

P.S. I think I wrote a 3 BT post too some time ago, but it’s been such a long time that I don’t even remember, so I’m starting it over right now ;)

2011-08-22T13:45:00.001+08:00

Motherhood brings different blessings (or curses??!) to different women. Most mommies share similar stories of rises and falls. We all (well, amost all) agree on how difficult it was to cope with being a new mommy, dealing with crying, sleepless babies night in and night out for years on end, and later on disciplining a toddler, managing a teenager, and so on.

Mommies, of all forms of living creatures on this planet, SHOULD HAVE BEEN the best of friends, logically. But who among you mommies have never felt intimidated, attacked, judged, or mistreated by other moms? (Of course this also applies to nearly all men & women alike, being sinners who need God's grace, but that's a different story, so keep reading please.)
Surprisingly, I find that for us the most judgmental & discouraging of all people are often times fellow mommies! The same people who have been through the horror of giving birth, the miserable times of severe sleep deprivation, the agony of holding a sick or colicky baby, the frustration of keeping a pre-schooler on track, and the dismay of dealing with teenagers.

How can this be?

Perhaps from our innermost being, we mommies long for the approval that we have done our best for our family and children, no matter what choices we made, whether it was in the form of sacrificing a shiny carrier to be a stay-at-home-mom or a struggle to balance office work and a healthy household. Perhaps we mommies get too much pressure from our surroundings, to mother our children the way they did; most frequently from older women who (thought) they had successfully done their job their way earlier.
Or perhaps some bitchy, actually-lacks-of-self-confidence mommies just can't help but satisfying themself by making other moms miserable. Some women had 'good intentions' and gave un-asked, un-needed, even un-true advices that turned out to be irritating instead.
And yet worst of all, some of us would give foolish comments for women struggling with infertility while at the same time bragging about their own children. Mind you, dear mothers, children are God's gracious GIFTS. None of us is deserving, none of us can 'make efforts' to get a child. The Creator of the universe Himself gives children, each according to His plan, His will, to whomever He chooses.

Why can't we just be kinder, fellow moms?

Choose your words wisely before they leave your mouths and think of the impacts for anyone who can hear you. Walk a mile in other people's shoes before 'helping' them with your suggestions or advices, or if you can't walk that mile, keep your lovely mouths shut, please...

If we can at least try to behave nicely (like what we demand from our children with firm discipline and persistence), perhaps motherhood would be an even more delightful journey.

'Ada orang yang lancang mulutnya seperti tikaman pedang, tetapi lidah orang bijak mendatangkan kesembuhan. '
-Amsal 12:18

After 20 months

2011-08-19T08:39:00.000+08:00

Hello, dear readers....

I've finally found the urge to blog again :)
And finally found ways to relive my long-time-forgotten blog account @.@

Have grown so much as a mom, a wife, a woman, a daughter of God, a daughter of man, a friend, and a person in the past 20 months. Found new place to live in, new mindset, new struggles. Most amazingly, I always find new strength, new blessings, new wisdom to go on, with peace that surpases all understanding on top of them all, in every step of the way.
So I guess from now on (if I ever persist to keep blogging :P), I'll share a more wondrous journey, still with the same faithful & merciful God.

All glory be for Him!

Little Lamb

2009-12-17T00:36:00.000+08:00

Darren loves BIG things. He wants BIG fish, big pudding, big cookies, big everything. When I sing a Sunday School Song called LITTLE LAMB, it goes

Domba kecil, domba kecil,
Hilang di atas bukit,
Datanglah gembala,
Angkat domba kecil.

(Or in English:

Little lamb, little lamb,
Got lost over the hill,
Shepherd came,
Carried the little lamb.)

He insisted that I should sing it DOMBA BESAR (=big lamb).
I imagined the shepherd, having to carry it all the way home. Big fat hairy heavy lamb. Poor shepherd.
I told Darren the shepherd wouldn't be able to carry it. Berat atuuhh....

Earthquake

2009-09-03T23:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, at around 3 PM, there was an earthquake in West Java, Indonesia.

I was at home, with my family. My sister, my son and I just got home from running an errand. Hubby was napping after a sleepless night shift.
All of a sudden, the house was trembling. The walls were shaking to the left and to the right, as if going to fall down. Some stuffs even fell off the cupboards and walls.
I grabbed Darren, and shouted for Hubby with all my might.
We live on the 3rd floor, so we frantically rushed down the stairs. My sister and our helper was also running downstairs, out to the streets.

Outside, people were all over the street. Some were panicking, some were just numbed by shock.
The quake lasted for about a minute or so (who’s counting?).
Afterwards, when it seemed that it all had stopped, we looked at one another, and we just realised how my sister and Hubby were running bare foot. My sister had the chance to grab her purse and cellphone as she ran downstairs.
When the earthquake happened, I also had my purse right by our “escape route”, with some handy & valuable stuffs in it for sure. But although I passed right by it, I didn’t even think of grabbing it. The thought of getting some valuable possessions did cross my mind, but was instantly and subconsciously outweighed by the urge to make sure that my loved ones were safe.

I guess when it comes to an unexpected emergency, we only hold on to what’s TRULY important to us. Although possessions do matter, and much needed, when we face a life-and-death situations, we only hold on to our most precious possession: the PEOPLE that we love.

Like father like son

2009-08-23T03:25:00.000+08:00

Here's a scene of Darren and Daddy's fun time ^___^

Good Boy Darren

2009-08-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

Dear readers,

Been so long since the last time I wrote a post.

Life’s been kinda hectic. I couldn’t encourage myself to squeeze some time to write, sorry!

But, thanks to Ershinta, who gave me my first blog-award, I got the encouragement I needed to keep posting. THANKS SO MUCH, Shinta! ^___^

Guess I’ll write my readers’ favorite topic: Darren :)

He’s now a challenging 19 months old. He rebels at every possible moment. He throw things although we continuously emphasizing that only balls are to be thrown, and even so, not to be aimed at people. He hits his dining table, the floor, the wall, even people, always making this particularly witty excuse: “ADA NYAMUK!” [= there’s a mosquito!]. We let him hit the floor and table, and the wall, and it seems to hurt him a bit, so now, thankfully, he almost stops doing it. With hitting people, his excuse is “TOSS !” [= high five-ing]. He would high five the palms of our hands when he’s nice, but when he loses it, he’d try high five-ing our hair, our glasses, our cheeks! We strictly told him to only high five the palm of hands, and with other parts, he’ll have to rub gently. It’s starting to work, thank God for that...

It’s the beginning of terrible two, and I’m nearly shaking at the sight of it hahaha....
Now we have an extra item for our daily family prayers (we say it outloud, so that Darren can hear it): “Bless Darren to be a good boy, Lord...”
And he’d heartily say, “AMEN!” ^__^

Wonton Recipe

2009-07-07T13:32:00.000+08:00

This is one of Darren’s currently most favorite meal:
Wonton soup with meat filling or in Bahasa: Pangsit Kuah.

A friend of mine who is also following this blog gave me the recipe (thanks, Nop!), which I modified a little to match Darren’s taste and for my convenience ^__^

Ingredients:
* 6 pieces of wonton dumpling (readily available in supermarkets, or you can make it yourself if you want)
* 50 grams of minced meat (chicken, beef, or pork if you like. I use pork)
* 2 pieces of chicken feet, boil with 500 ml of water, bring to boil to make chicken broth (or you can use any kind of chicken broth that you like to use)
* 1 carrot, cut into thin, round pieces
* 25 grams of broccoli (or as you like it), chop roughly
* 2 onions, chop
* 2 garlic, crush and chop
* celery, chop
* chives, chop
* salt, pepper, sugar to taste
Here goes:
1. Deep fry onions and garlic, divide into 2 portions, set aside.
2. Mix minced meat with a portion of fried onion and garlic, a pinch of salt, a pinch of pepper, some celery and chives. Divide into 6 portions, put each portion into a piece of wonton dumpling. Wrap by joining all 4 corners of the dumpling, use a couple of drops of water to stick them together. Set aside.
3. Boil chicken broth, put the dumplings into it, along with carrot. Wait until they’re cooked (takes some 10 minutes or so). Put the other portion of onion into it, broccoli, celery, chives, salt, and pepper, also sugar if you like. (For Darren I don’t use much of them.)
4. Unless you like chicken feet, get rid of it so you wouldn’t freak certain people out (in my case: hubby ;D )
This recipe makes 2-3 kid’s portion (depends on how much your kid eats. Darren eats it in 2 meals).

It’s so cute to see Darren ate wonton soup so ENTHUSIASTICALLY. He’d ask for his own bowl and spoon, then I’ll put slices of wonton into his bowl. It’s so slippery (even for adults!) to handle so Darren has to struggle to put them into his mouth. He barely uses his spoon, coz it’s easier to eat by hand, even so, he still has to work so hard. It’s MESSY, I’m telling you, but it keeps ALL the usual distractions away. He concentrates with his wonton, and keeps asking for more even while his mouth’s still full of it haha… Maybe Darren likes it is because it makes meal time almost like playing time.

I bought a pack of dumpling which probably has some 25 pieces in it. It expires within 5 days or so, so I usually cook half of it right after I bought it, and cook the other half 2 days later.
If you wonder about the rest of the dumpling, I make some also for Hubby. He LOVES deep fried wonton. It’s the same recipe, only simpler coz you just need to deep fry the dumpling after you fill it with meat, so you don’t need the chicken broth and the vegetables.

Gugukdog

2009-07-05T13:24:00.000+08:00

Darren’s been crazy about dogs these past couple of weeks. He borrowed ALL stuffed dogs from his auntie who loves stuffed animals, and bring them to his playroom.
He totally “has” 6 dogs, 3 of them are the dogs from “the Cat and the Dog” brand, if you know what I mean; 1 is a Golden Retriever puppy (named Kenny, like the real one in our house), 1 is an old brown puppy, and the other is a tiny, orange, ugly dog that used to be a key chain, named Chop-chop.

Darren still sleeps with his favorite Panda bear and a little cow headed bolster. But it’s been about a week since he insisted on having Kenny in bed whenever he’s going to sleep. That Kenny dog, has to follow him EVERY WHERE in the house, in the car when we go out to buy groceries (I strictly forbid him bringing it along into the stores, because it’s too bothersome), Darren even wants to bring it along when I take him to the bathroom to pee! It takes a wit to distract him from bringing it into the bathroom.

When Darren wakes up in the morning, he would take Kenny out of the bedroom, and start “registering” each and every single one of his dogs. He knows all of them by heart: Kenny, the “abu-abu” (grey) dog, the “coklat” (brown) dog, the curly white dog, and tiny Chop-chop. He assemble each one of them, line them up in front of the window, and together, watching the wind blowing the curtain (he loves it so much, watching the wind). Sometimes when the day is cold, he put a blanket over himself and his “friends” to keep them from the cold wind ^__^

When we go downstairs, he wants to bring all of his dogs along, but I usually make him choose a maximum of 2. And say he brings Kenny and the grey dog, when we return upstairs and accidentally forgot the dogs, we HAVE to go back downstairs and pick them up! I once got curious, so when I got back downstairs, I took both dog, but gave him only one of them. He immediately asked for the other one, precisely naming which one!

Grandparent's Beloved

2009-07-02T14:10:00.000+08:00

Darren’s rapidly learning new words and is now consistently using a 3-word sentences, sometimes even 4-word sentences. For example: “Want more wonton” or "see big wind" or “want big carrot.”

Darren also has this ritual of saying goodbye to his Daddy when his Daddy’s off to work.
He’d remind Daddy to put his glasses on, “ATA PAPAW” (= Papaw’s glasses), “PEN PAPAW” (= Papaw’s pen), and then hug and kiss his Daddy goodbye.

The other day, right before Daddy left, they had this conversation:
Daddy : Where’s Daddy going?
Darren : JA (= work)
Daddy : What for?
Darren : UANG (= money)
Daddy : For whom?
Darren : DEN (= Darren)
Daddy : For what?
Darren : CUCU (= milk)
Daddy : CUCU for whom?
Darren : CUCU EMAK... CUCU KONG-KONG...
When my parents came, my Mom taught Darren that he was “CUCU EMAK” (= Grandma’s grandchild) and “CUCU KONG KONG” (= Grandpa’s grandchild).
Now that’s what we call a “short circuit,” Darren mistook “milk” for “grandchild” because he pronunced them similarly ^_______^

Excellent!

2009-06-25T13:45:00.000+08:00

How time flies.

I still remember when I was entering my 3rd trimester of pregnancy with Darren, when I had to be admitted to the hospital because I kept having premature contractions.
Hubby and I were SO WORRIED! We prayed and prayed, and so did the rest of the hospital complex (we were living in a missionary hospital complex in West Borneo, and were both working in that hospital). With every single day that passed by, we were grateful because Darren got to spend another day where he belonged, in Mommy’s belly. By God’s grace, Darren was born full term, healthy and perfect ^___^

Today, Darren’s a healthy, happy, super active, 18 months old toddler.
He excels in many areas: physical development, language skills, motoric skills.
He runs around, fully toilet trained, speaking a vocabulary of probably around 400 words (of course I’m not counting, that’s just a rough estimation. I’m guessing that amount because some 80 of which was animal vocabulary, probably another 80 was vegetables and flowers, maybe another 50 was names of relatives, friends, those in Sunday School, and the rest would be enough for his daily conversation words). He’s using sentences of 3 to 4 words, although still without preposition yet. For example: “Papaw... work... (to earn) money... (for) Darren... (to buy) milk...” (in Bahasa)
Or he’d tell you a story, his current favorite is a Bible story of Jesus calming the stormy sea: “[the disciples] ATUT... [takut / fear] ANGUN.. ANGUN [mimicking their waking Jesus up]...,” he says, and now with his arms stretched out, “IAM... [diam! / silent!] NANGLAH! [tenanglah / calm down!]”
He mostly does it without being asked. Sometimes when he almost falls asleep, he would chatter and babble up a series of words like those.

He also counts from 1 to 10, although many times he does it in 2 series: 1 to 3 or 5, and after a few seconds, continuing to 10.
He knows colors, except yellow and orange. His never mistaken colors are: GREY and BROWN (weird, isn’t it?).
He sings -as in completing words and sentences of the lyrics when we sing for him- of MANY Sunday School songs along with the gesture for each song.

It’s just too amazing to watch a child grow, especially mindwise. I remember Darren’s mind still being a bit “empty,” oblivious to our speeches just a few months ago.
I wonder how he got the creativity of inventing “GROWTH”, from a single embryo into a baby, a child, and further on, an adult human being.
Our Creator’s TOTALLY AWESOME, isn’t He?

Name of Days

2009-06-22T13:42:00.000+08:00

By request of a friend, I’m going to tell you about Darren’s song of days.

In Bahasa, there’s a Sunday song that mentions all the days in a week. I guess it was designed for kids to easily memorize the name of days in a week.

The song goes:

♪ Hari Senin, hari Selasa, harinya Tuhan harinya Tuhan
Hari Rabu, hari Kamis, harinya Tuhan harinya Tuhan
Hari Jumat harinya Tuhan
Hari Sabtu harinya Tuhan
Hari Minggu, semua hari, harinya Tuhan ♫

[In short: from Monday to Sunday, everyday is God’s day]

I was wondering why each time I got to Kamis [= Thursday], Darren would say, “Kong kong,” referring to his Grandpa.
My first guess was because the last time my parents came, it was on Thursday, but I wasn’t really sure because Darren didn’t know the concept of days’ names yet.
I asked what he meant, and as with every other times when I didn’t understand him, he would have this expression on his face, as if he were thinking and trying to figure out some way to make me understand.
[Aren’t children’s minds amazing? ]

Then came his explanation: he pointed his upper lip, he mimicked the sound of a kiss, and said, “Yi...” [= geli...!] with this ticklish expression on his face.
It took me about 2 seconds before I figured out what he meant and laughed outloud.

He mistook “Kamis” for “kumis” (moustache), and each time he heard the word “Kamis”, he remembered Grandpa’s moustache.
My Dad loves to tickle Darren by kissing his chubby cheeks and rub them with his moustache.
Whenever he does this, Darren always had this ticklish expression and gesture, and he’d laugh so gleefully, along with his Grandpa ^___^

Toddler Restraint

2009-06-19T13:51:00.000+08:00

Darren who is now 18 months old, is a very active little boy who loves to run around.
When we go to shopping malls, especially the huge, roomy ones, he’d run around happily, as if being freed from a cage haha..
It’s entertaining to see his activity, but also VERY TIRING! Running around trying to catch him from going too far or getting near dangerous places is so not friendly for our backs!
Having to bow to reach him has caused me several episodes of low back pain.
That is why we don’t go out much. It’s just too tiring and unpractical, not to mention the time we need to prepare him and ourselves, and more often than none, Darren’s “overstimulated” condition we have to deal with when we get back home.

Fortunately, we found this FABULOUS invention a few weeks ago.
Whoever had the idea to make it and produce it worldwide must had had his/her own moments of having “high performance” toddlers.
The MASTERPIECE comes in the form of restraint strap ^__^
It’s very much similar with the strap that people use for their pets when they bring their pets for a walk, to keep them from going too far.
And believe me, it works just PERFECTLY!

As you can see in the picture, Darren couldn’t go far enough to get into trouble.
On the other hand, he doesn’t always have to stay right by our sides, he’s in a way more free to run around, although within limited range – of course, still under full, strict supervision.

Those of you who already have toddlers must have this question in mind, “How do you make the kid cooperate and willing to wear it?”
Well in my case, Darren LOVES horses (I’ve never been more grateful before), and it makes him feel like playing horse / horse pulled carriage. He happily mimics the sound of a horse-man controlling his horse (although in this case, he’s the “horse” – he’s too young to make the connection logic hehehe...).

I know some people disregard it (we’ve met MANY people whispering or pointing or staring or laughing at Darren with his strap). Big deal, it’s just too convenient to make us even care about what they think ;)

Table Manner

2009-06-17T13:44:00.000+08:00

Here’s a pic of our family praying before Darren’s meal. (Thanks to my friend Anita who took and uploaded the pic in my FB.)

He closes his eyes that tightly and says “AMEN!” right after ^___^

Other than praying, I’ve also been teaching him to offer people around him to eat whenever he’s eating.
In Chinese (and most other Asian) culture, when you’re eating, you have to offer people around you, especially older people, your food. I don’t mean the food from your plate, but clean food from the table. It’s considered good manners.

He grasp the idea pretty quickly. Whenever he eats, and there are people around him, I no longer have to remind him to offer. He’d say, “Mbah, mamam!” to the old lady who works at our house, making his offer. He’d also say, “Kong, mamam!” to his grandpa, or “Paw, mamam!” to his Papaw (=Daddy), and so on.

Funny thing is whenever an ant happens to walk by on the table. He’d say, “Mut, mamam!” [“Ant, eat!”] and put a crumb of his bread or a grain of his rice within the ant’s reach.
Of course, I never taught him that, I guess he’s just kinda considerate ^__^

Language of Touch

2009-06-13T02:15:00.000+08:00

I’m sure many of us know about the 5 love languages.
The book has been translated into Bahasa, and if I remember correctly, the title’s “5 BAHASA CINTA.”

To briefly remind you, the 5 ways with which we express our love towards others or feel others’ love for us are:
1. Gifts
2. Touch
3. Quality time
4. Service
5. Words of encouragement

I don’t know at what age a child begins to show his major love languages, but I think Darren’s been strongly showing his, which is touch.
I know most young children love to be touched (hugged, kissed, held, carried, etc.), but Darren seems to use this language A LOT.
For example, he loves to hold hands, when walking, or when he’s sitting down. He’d ask to hold my hands even as he sits on his potty pooing >_<
His favorite position for reading a book is on my (or Daddy’s or other reader’s) lap.
When he hears startling, loud noise, he usually gets rather scared, and would ask for a hug.
He loves to kiss people he likes (although sometimes he’s a bit picky hehehe...).
In meal times, if I get upset because he starts acting out, he’d ask to hold my hand to make sure that I don’t get mad at him (of course most of the time I refuse because I’m already mad hahaha... Sometimes I refuse holding his hand only to make him stop acting out.)
And when he wakes up at night, if he doesn’t need to drink, all I have to do is hold his hand and he’ll instantly calm down and go right back to sleep.

I know it’s too early to figure out Darren’s love languages, but my point is that you really should know your children’s love languages well, because it’s SO IMPORTANT!

Let me give you an example. If the mother’s love language is gift, she’ll instinctively give things to show that she loves her child. But if the child’s love language is quality time, he’ll long for quality time and unable to appreciate his mother’s love in the form of things.
If they’re unaware of each other’s love language, both would suffer. They both would suffer from love starvation and lack of appreciation.

So, let’s all learn love languages and practise them. Trust me, it’ll solve many difficult problems in our relationships ^__^

Weird Sleep

2009-06-12T00:37:00.000+08:00

Have you ever noticed how a child goes to sleep?

We adults go to sleep in a standard manner: we get into a comfortable position, grab a blanket or a pillow or anything cosy, we close our eyes, and wait until we sort of “lose consciousness.”

Babies do it differently. I dunno if this is only my son, or if it applies to all babies, although I believe the latter is more likely.

When they’re sleepy, they can’t calm down. They need to be calmed down, one way or another. If you’re lucky, your child gets to calm himself down easily. If your child’s like mine, you’ll learn many ways and in the end will be extremely creative and witty and tactical about sleeping stuffs, and eventually have an easier life ^__^

Anyway, once they’re calmed down, they don’t close their eyes just yet.
If they’re lying down, they’d roll over here and there once in a while, chitter chatter quite some, stare blankly to a direction, and then, after a while, very slowly, their eyes start to blink slowly, heavily. After some slow, heavy blinks, back open ever briefly, and then blink more slowly and more heavily, their eyes finally close.
When that happens, babies need some 3 minutes or so to go into deep sleep, and after that mommies can leave (or put them in bed if they were carried and swayed) and enjoy “freedom.”

I think it’s weird. Isn’t it MUCH easier and faster to just close their eyes and relax BEFORE falling asleep instead of AFTER?
Sometimes I want to try and keep my eyes open for as long as I can before I fall asleep just like that. But I’ve never succeeded doing that. Because naturally, when I’m really really sleepy, there’s nothing else I want to do, but to close my eyes and surrender. That’s the very best part of sleeping. The ultimate relaxation.

I wonder how long babies do that. Darren is nearly 18 months, and he’s still doing that weird stuff before falling asleep.

A Blast with Bule ;)

2009-06-09T12:33:00.000+08:00

Life without nanny is busier than I thought. Especially when there are many unusual agendas for the days, i.e. social events, health disturbances, etc.
I’m not sure I’ll be able to write much on this blog. At least not until I finish my current project, which would probably take about a month or so.
And after that, MAYBE, just maybe, we might be moving out, who knows?

Anyway, although the past few weeks were full of social meetings, with family and friends, they’ve been a blast!
I met several old friends from high school, one of whom has been living in the Netherlands. She brought her “bule” husband. And to my surprise, although Darren’s a bit awkward to him (the bule), meaning that Darren would barely touch him and refused to kiss him, Darren likes him so so much that he keeps mentioning his name, “Oom Sy..”, sometimes up until he fell asleep at nights!

I was told that sometimes babies just aren’t friendly with people that are “different” from them. By different I mean another race. I wasn’t quite sure about it.
When Darren met my friend’s hubby, he had a thin moustache and beard, so we thought it was probably why Darren wouldn’t kiss him. Darren feels ticklish with moustache and beards, also stuffed animals with rough hairs hehehe...
But then again, after he shaved and had his face all clean, he tried getting Darren to kiss him, but Darren refused hehehe... So we thought he probably just wasn’t comfortable with “bules”.

It was kinda odd, coz it wasn’t the first time Darren met a “bule”.
He met another friend’s hubby once, when he was about 10 months old. But he probably was too young to understand back then.
And when Darren was born, was he surrounded by many “bules”!
In fact, the doctor who first took care of him right after he came out of my belly was a “bule.”

Nonetheless, we’re looking forward to meeting more “bules”, so we can watch Darren’s reactions.
One thing’s for sure, if he/she’s fun to play with, Darren doesn’t mind what their skin colour is, so long as they don’t ask for a kiss.

Sunday Fun

2009-06-01T11:53:00.000+08:00

Darren loves to go to Sunday School.
He loves to sing along and move along the songs, although he doesn’t follow them very well yet.
He looks forward to going to Sunday School on every Sunday.

Darren has three regular Sunday School teachers.
Two of them are nice, middle-aged ladies. The other one’s a pretty, young lady at her teens.
Darren seems to like the last one best ^__^

Last Sunday, his favorite SS teacher was leading the singing and dancing. Out of the blue, he went by himself and sat right by her!
If you’re curious, I sat in the far side of the room. He usually sat by my side or on my lap, and then I would try to make him follow all the activities, but it would only last for some 15 minutes.

But this time, to my surprise, he happily sat on his own, on the foremost line (!) and sang and danced along the songs (though very limitedly). In fact, he was the youngest and the smallest kid there who join his SS teachers sing and dance.

Darren seemed enthusiastic to sing and dance along, although he only knew a few songs (because I didn’t know the song well enough to teach him hehehe...).
It was a pleasant surprise to learn that he’s somewhat independent and confident enough to do that.
(There were several other kids around 2 years old or more who wouldn’t join any activity, and just played around with all the available toys.)

Being a 17 month-old, please keep in mind that he does have a short attention span. After singing and dancing along a few songs, he came to me and sat on my lap. Some 5 minutes later, he was all around the room, no longer paying attention.

Nonetheless, it was a pleasant surprise ^__^

Toilet Missed

2009-05-28T13:25:00.000+08:00

A few weeks ago, I proclaimed that Darren was officially toilet trained.
Well he kinda was, and I already stopped putting his diapers on during the day for nearly two months now.
But please know that he does miss once in a while.

I don’t want to intimidate any other mommies out there by unfairly telling only the “ups” and not the “downs”. So, here’s one of the “downs”.

Darren peed in his pants last week.
He did said “PEE”, but it was only about three seconds before his “water broke”, when I was frantically trying to haul him to the toilet.
Where did this happen? No, unfortunately, not at home. In Sunday School! Ouch!
Although it was a little bit embarassing, considering how much I had bragged about him being off diapers, I managed to hold on to the primary rule of toilet training: NEVER discourage him by stressing on his errors or showing him too much, if any, disappointment. (I made that rule.)

So, I looked at him and smiled, saying that it was OK and that he should tell me BEFORE his next urge to pee. The fact that he took the whole thing easily and was already off to play within a few seconds was as a good sign of his mental state regarding his toilet training.

Among his other excellence, to tell you the truth, being toilet trained so early is one of Darren’s most surprising and fulfilling development.
To mommies out there who might be curious, here’s some toilet training tips (I’m also writing this to keep a note for myself, in case I’m having more kids –nope, SO not in the near future-) :

1. Keep in mind that you’re not TRAINING him, you’re SHOWING him the right place to pee/poop.

2. During the day, since early on, let him pee in his pants so he learns to feel the sensation of peeing and being wet (in Indonesia, mommies generally don’t use disposable diapers as much as mommies in the West. Personally, I think this helps. Although I must remind you, it’s oh SO MESSY!!)

3. At some 5 or 6 months, bring him to pee in the bathroom (I held Darren in my arms and “aimed” his pee into the toilet bowl), regardless he pees or not. Make it regular (some once or twice a day and gradually more frequent as he grows older), but keep in mind, DON’T EVER BE PUSHY (don’t expect him to pee every time you try, and don’t be disappointed if he doesn’t).

4. Make the point number 3 as fun as you can.

5. If he does pee into the toilet, PRAISE him with all your might. Make him understand (gradually, as he grows older) exactly why you praise him.

6. Once he’s able to sit up, sit him on a potty on the toilet bowl to pee or poop (remember, NEVER LEAVE HIM ALONE in the bathroom!).

7. Don’t compare him to other kids or set targets. Kids are different. Accept and love your kid as he is, that’s the best encouragement.

8. And, as I said before, NEVER discourage him by stressing on his errors or showing him too much, if any, disappointment. Together, celebrate his success, and underrate his un-success (make sure you encourage him if ever you feel a pinch of disappointment on his side). He’ll eventually think of peeing or pooping into the toilet as his personal achievement.

That’s all, I guess. By the time Darren learned to speak, he immediately told us when he needed to go. If I remembered correctly, it was when he reached 13 months of age.
At that time, he didn’t always mean it when he said “PEE” or “POOP”. Sometimes he just made fun of it, sometimes he just wanted to watch our urgency.

I guess one of the key to success was not expecting too much and just let things flow. When he’s ready, he’s ready.

Good luck, mommies ^______^

Update

2009-05-25T22:45:00.000+08:00

Hello friends...

Haven’t written any post lately. Been busy with a few guests, etc. etc.
Also busier because Darren’s nanny doesn’t work anymore. So, Darren’s now happily hanging out with Mommy and Daddy ALL day long.

It’s pretty tiring, but I think I’m happier now because I get to spend more time with him and less time doing unnecessary stuffs (I tend to dwell in unaccomplishing activities, I wonder why...). Although it also means that I have less time doing the really necessary ones, like doing my freelance-translating job, stay up-to-date with my dearest friends abroad using the internet, etc.

So I’m trying to be more organized and responsible with my time. Which is a good exercise.
Nonetheless, as far as I can see, our family’s happier.
Hopefully this happiness will last, not ending with Mommy’s frustration like some not-so-happy moments in the past, when I wasn’t well adapted with my new life as a Mom yet hehehe...

So maybe from now on I won’t be writing as often as I did before.

Also, as Darren gets older, most of our daily experience includes his language development (which has been EXCELLENT!), and that’s kinda not-too-interesting to share in other language (English).

Anyway, I found a cute likeness in these two pics a few weeks ago.
I had to ask Hubby’s permission before I spread this particular pic (of him). Lucky for you, like I said before, he LOVES having the spotlight on him. That’s the main reason of his cooperation. And besides, these pics are too cute to keep to ourselves.

Please do feel free to comment! ^___^

Old wives' tale

2009-05-14T23:58:00.000+08:00

My Mother in Law, who lives in a town in central Java, has been in town to help out my SIL (hubby’s younger sister) during her delivery. SIL recently gave birth to a son through a C-section.
Having MIL around at our place has been pretty entertaining.
Here’s why.

My MIL’s the kind of a very traditional Javanese woman (her father was Chinese and her mother was a Javanese). She was raised with the mindset of how a woman should be devoted to her husband, with the custom of being EXTREMELY polite, even to the point of enduring unnecessary misery, etc. etc.
Even so, she’s rather liberal when it comes to what’s perceived as social taboos in Indonesian community. For example, she could talk casually about sex, as if it were a cartoon movie. I was shocked to find out about this just a couple of years ago, but I’m kinda used to it now, hehehe...

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, MIL conveyed my SIL (my BIL’s wife)’s question, if it was true that to conceive a boy, the wife has to be “hotter” than the husband. By hotter I mean more sexually horny. BWAHAHAHAHA....
I struggled so hard not to laugh out loud at that very moment.
Imagine what SIL had thought of me, my first child being a boy?
Or even MIL herself, who had 4 sons?

Some myths can be so misleading.... And more astonishing, even the most misleading ones of them have believers...

Quotes of the day

2009-05-09T09:38:00.000+08:00

Sidonie Gruenberg:
Home is the place where boys and girls first learn how to limit their wishes, abide by rules, and consider the rights and needs of others.

Tenneva Jordan:
A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.

Elaine Heffner:
Women do not have to sacrifice personhood if they are mothers. They do not have to sacrifice motherhood in order to be persons. Liberation was meant to expand women's opportunities, not to limit them. The self-esteem that has been found in new pursuits can also be found in mothering.

Toilet Training Tricks

2009-05-03T02:32:00.000+08:00

Our beloved Darren is now officially “GRADUATED” from our Toilet Training Course ^___^

Although he’s been able to say “pee... pee...” when he needs to pee since as early as 13 months, he only learned to say “poo...poo...” and truly meant so since around 15 months of age.
Now at 16 months, our triumphs have been consistent enough to be called official.
Darren no longer needs diapers except for nighttime sleeps; and that’s just because Mommy doesn’t want messy wet sheets.

Darren still pees in his sleeps sometimes, but this will take some 4-5 years to conquer, so let’s give him all the time he needs for this one, shall we?
For the time being, he’s been doing a wonderful job as a young toddler, and we’re so proud of him.

But he did learn another thing from toilet training: a chance to “escape” from our bedroom when it’s already high time for him to sleep.
Whenever he has difficulty sleeping -which happens almost everyday-, he would toss around the bed, and then says “pee... pee...”
At first, I would hurrily bring him to the bathroom to pee, then he would pee just a few tiny drops. The second time around, he would just call and point at his favorite things in the bathroom and did not pee at all!
Since then on, I never take him back to the bathroom when we’re in bed and ready to sleep, so long as I made sure he did have a good pee beforehand.

Too bad for mischievous little Darren, Mommy’s also a fast learner ^___^

Javanese Hat

2009-04-27T13:56:00.000+08:00

Darren LLOOOVVVEEESSS his new hat.
He likes to wear it anytime, anywhere. He even refuses to take it off during his meals!
Take a look at the picture.

It’s a Javanese traditional hat.
In Javanese dialect, it’s called BLANGKON.

Whenever Darren sees the hat, he would want to wear it. And whenever he sees his Daddy’s hat, he would want his daddy to wear it.

We went to church yesterday, and we had a hunch that Darren would want to wear the hat to Sunday School.

His Daddy insisted that there was no way he would wear the hat to church, no matter what!

So when we were getting ready to church, we hid both hats.

Thankfully, Darren didn’t remember asking for it. Phew, Daddy’s safe! ^__^

Mommy's Leisure Time

2009-04-22T12:53:00.000+08:00

3 AM.

Watching Desperate Housewives.

Am I desperate? You wish, haha!

Being a mommy makes me more creative about making time for anything besides attending to Darren's needs.I used to like to put just a teeny-little make up when going out, had a new haircut every now and then.
But since I had Darren, rituals before going out becomes sooo long: preparing Darren, preparing Darren's bag, including his meals, drink, milk, snacks, extra set of clothes, jacket, wet tissues, dry tissues, plastic bags for dirty laundry, plastic bags for pee, baby carrier (coz other than we don't have a stroller for toddler, he too restless to use a stroller, and that's exactly why we don't have it!), etc. etc., then hurrily get myself dressed, and then it's already HIGH TIME for us to leave. No time for mommy to get prettier (being pretty is already given by God, so long as we feel so ^__^ ). Many times I would just go, without even combing my hair, and just tie it backwards!

Thankfully, I had stubborn confidence ^__^ (consider it a good perspective on self image).

As Darren got older, I hired an "assistant" to help me care for Darren because I needed time to do my freelancing works at home. And I thank God for her (the nanny), because I think her presence has been giving me the time and balance I HIGHLY needed so that I wouldn't get too exhausted with Darren (trust me, he's THAT exhausting... Even my Mom, who ADORES him but rarely meets him, was amazed of how sweat-producing it was just to get him properly dressed!).

When Darren was almost a year-old, I finally managed to get the time to go to a hair salon and get a very needed haircut.Gradually, I find more time to also take better care of myself, for the sake of self satisfaction, and of course, Hubby's ^__^

Nowadays, when Darren goes to sleep at nights, I have enough undisturbed time to do things I like to do. Besides blogging or working, I also watch some series on DVD.

Last night, again, I fell asleep while getting Darren to sleep at night. And again, I woke up in the middle of the night and decided to make myself a butter and chocolate sandwich, grab some Desperate Housewives series, and enjoyed myself (Hubby's out of town).
Although this enjoyable habit comes with a cost (being sleep deprived and difficulty waking up in the next morning), I find it worthy!

Toilet Training Triumph

2009-04-19T14:51:00.000+08:00

In a supermarket in town, they have a special discount for groceries on certain days. Last Thursday was one of those days. Because of that, I took Darren along with me to that supermarket, to buy some groceries.
Oh, and by the way, Darren turned 16 months on that day.

Even though Darren’s been doing GREAT in his toilet training, whenever we go out, I usually put his diapers on, just in case.
A friend of mine brings plastic bags everywhere, so that her young son can pee into it whenever he needs to. We all know that sometimes public toilets aren’t always available and sometimes little kids just can’t hold long enough.
Or, sometimes they need to pee in an impossible setting, like, say, in the car when we’re trapped in a never ending traffic jam.
That’s when plastic bags come handy.
To practice this smart tip, I’ve also trained Darren to pee into a plastic bag, but he didn’t seem to like it much.

Anyway, last Thursday I finally had the guts to not put his diapers on when we went shopping. Before hand, I told him to tell us if he needs to pee.
I took him to the bathroom to pee right before we left. And about half an hour in the supermarket, I took him to the toilet to pee.
After that, we walked around (him sitting on the trolley) and bought stuffs for about an hour or so.
Busy remembering and checking what I needed to buy, I didn’t remember to bring Darren to pee again.

We went to our car and went directly home. On the way home, he fell asleep.
We reached home and I put sleeping Darren into bed.
He didn’t pee until he (almost) woke up.

I call this a toilet-training-triumphant day ^_____^

My dearest Darren, WELL DONE!! Mommy loves you so much and Mommy’s VERY PROUD of you!! –smooch… smooch…- ^o^

Tantrum tantrum

2009-04-16T10:49:00.001+08:00

This time I’m gonna spill a bit of the “dirty laundry” of my motherhood. I hope it’s as bad as you think, haha!

I’m not a patient kind of person. Though some of my friends might think I’m pretty patient in some particular terms, but when it comes to facing a child with tantrums, I’m sooo far from being patient.

Yesterday, Darren had difficulty napping. For the time being, he usually takes a nap once a day, although sometimes if he wakes up too early in the morning, he’d take a very early nap in the morning, thus needing another nap in the afternoon, and he’d end up having difficulty sleeping at night.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether he’s sleepy, because most of the time, like many other super-active kids, he’d FIGHT the urge to sleep to his last.
Lately I’ve been trying to get him used to lying down in bed to sleep for his naps, instead of being carried to sleep. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

Anyway yesterday, I tried getting him to lie down to nap, and he ended up playing in bed, with any possible thing that he could come up with (by this I mean bed sheet, pillow case, etc. coz we don’t allow any kind of toy in bed, other than his lovey, to use Tracy Hogg’s term, a Panda Bear).
I warned him once, at first he was being “nice” and agreed to lie down, only for a couple of minutes before he went back playing.
And then I warned him for the second time, and this time he knew he was getting on my nerves and he DELIBERATELY tested my patience!
Tsk..tsk...tsk... how can a-little-over-a-year-old kids be so witty?!
By the time he needed the third warning I finally lost my patience. I left him in the bedroom, bringing with me his beloved Panda Bear.
He cried and cried in a 5 minutes tantrum, begging for Mommy and Panda, in a very longing voice, but this time I didn’t fall for it.
In the end, I asked his daddy (who was off duty) to carry him to sleep. He kept asking for Mommy, but finally fell asleep in his Daddy’s arms in less than 10 minutes. Yes, he was THAT sleepy!

-Sigh-
There went a little “battle” with my beloved Darren... Being only 16 months old, he’d surely have MORE, BIGGER, more annoying tantrums that I should anticipate coming in a few months, probably ones that would last until he’s 3 years old or so...

Ah... the bittersweet of motherhood....

Babble bubble

2009-04-13T12:24:00.001+08:00

I’m not feeling well today... Sneezes, runny nose, headache and almost feverish.
I hope Darren won’t be infected with mommy’s flu!

In Indonesia, last weekend was a long weekend. Last Thursday was election day, then the next day was Good Friday. So it was a holiday, from Thursday to Sunday.
To me, working as a freelancer and a housewife, it didn’t really matter. But we’ve been having a blast because my parents were in town and we got to spend a lot of great times together.

Our little Darren who in 3 days would turn 16 months of age, is now consistently making sentences with 2 words. We can’t be happier, because other than excelling in his verbal skills, he’s also making it easier for us to understand him ^__^
He would say, “Papa… ja…” (Papa kerja = Daddy works) when he wakes up in the morning and couldn’t find his daddy in our bedroom.

Other times he would say, “Di… boboh..” (= Bubble bath or mandi bubble in our mixed language). He loves having a bubble bath in his baby tub. The only thing bothering me is that he LOVES to eat the bubbles, just to get to me! He loves it when I tell him to spit those bubbles out of his mouth, “Pffaaahh!” He’d giggle and put bubbles back into his mouth and mimics, “Pffaaahh!”
Sometimes when his bubble-eating gets too intolerable, I’d get him out of his tub and finish bath immediately.

Another thing Darren’s been good at in the last 2 weeks was singing. He knows a BUNCH of Sunday School songs and some nursery rhymes, and used to dance along those songs. He can now finish the lines in the songs (in a sing-along kind of way), and to our surprise, he knows SO MANY of those songs by heart!

Ah, the joy of motherhood ^___________^

A Little Tribute to Opa and Oma, Wendell and Marjorie Geary

2009-04-08T18:46:00.000+08:00

A Little Tribute to Opa and Oma, Wendell and Marjorie Geary

In Sunday School, they taught Darren this song:
♫ Tanganku kerja buat Tuhan, mulutku memuji nama-Nya,
Kakiku berjalan cari jiwa, upahku besar di surga... ♪

In English, it’s something like:
♫ My hands work for God, my mouth exhalts His name,
my legs walk to find lost souls, my reward is huge in heaven... ♪

Upon hearing that song, although not for the first time, I was wondering if I had lived like what the song was saying. And then it hit me, that of the many people I’ve met in my life, few really lived like what the song was saying, and among them, a very special couple quickly stood out. Some of you may have heard about them, or even know them personally: Wendell and Marjorie Geary, a.k.a Opa and Oma Geary of Bethesda hospital, Serukam.

When I think of hands that are truly dedicated to work for God, day in and day out, tireless, without underrating the many, many other hands also working for the One same God, my thought went out to the huge pair of hands (surgical gloves size 8 - 8.5 J), already having many wrinkles, yet were among the gentlest hands whose touch reach deep into his patients’ and MANY others’ hearts. Hands that despite the size, were delicately skillfull in doing their job on surgical tables.

When I think of a mouth that’s full with sincere praises for the Lord, I realize that it’s something more rarely found. Don’t we all have our moments when we’re not proud of what comes out of our mouths? (and I’m not talking about spluttering or vomiting J )
But if you ever talked to Marjorie Geary (a.k.a. Oma Geary), you’d agree with me, that whenever she opens her mouth, Words of God, encouragement, comfort, wisdom, in all down-to-earth, low profile, whole-hearted, very human ways, flow out like a river. If you were down, you’d at once feel as if the day were brighter; if you were confused, you’d feel like you just got a guiding light to lead you on; if you were weak, you’d feel like your wings regained a new strength to fly; and if you were on your average, so-so daily condition, you’d once again be reminded that God is walking with you along the way.
I don’t think I have ever met anyone from whose mouth flows out more blessings than Oma’s.

As for the legs willing to walk to find lost souls, people who know them wouldn’t have the tiniest doubt that they walked a long, long, LONG way and brought to God thousands upon thousands of lost souls deep in the furthest corners of West Borneo.
As for their reward, as a fellow Christian, I can’t think of anything less than a huge, real-estate-class house in an elite area in Heaven, although God probably has prepared something far better for them.

About my hubby

2009-04-06T19:18:00.001+08:00

My hubby is really supportive about me making a blog.
He loves to read my post drafts on my laptop, and enjoys the content, along with the comments.

He once asked me to write about him. If you know him, you’d know how much he loves to have the spotlight on him ;)
The thing is, for now I can’t seem to find something, among the many things about him, to share in my blog.
So, right here I’ll list 5 things about him that I love the most, of course the ones I share here is JUST 5 (in random order) of the many splendour things that he’s been blessing me with over these years.

1. He puts his loved ones’ needs and importance above his own.

2. He appreciates even the smallest things I give him or do for him, even something as simple as putting a new towel by the bathroom for him to use (although I only did it because I happened to notice that the old one’s been too damp to use, and I can’t stand it!).

3. Unlike the many Asian traditionalists, he doesn’t demand that I do household work and whenever there’s a need, he wouldn’t mind sharing just as much or sometimes even more household work than me.

4. He loves to play with our son, and when he does, he goes ALL THE WAY, with screams and laughters, it’s like having a dozen of toddlers at home instead of just two, oops I mean one ;)
He knows LOADS of childhood rhymes and songs with hand-clapping and all, he never fails to catch Darren’s interest.

5. He cares about people, even ones that are not too close to him, more than most people do. He seeks to please people and many times would make big sacrifices for them.

So, dear Hubby, I hope you like this one special post, as much as I love writing it.
I dedicate this one to you. Love you much! ^__^

Quotes of the day

2009-04-03T13:26:00.000+08:00

Children spell love: T – I – M – E.

We should see children not as empty bottles to be filled, but as candles to be lit.

It is by being a mother, a father, that we understand better about our Heavenly Father’s love.

Amazing moments

2009-04-02T17:31:00.000+08:00

My son never ceases to amaze me.

Usually, children don’t like having water poured down on their heads during bath time.
A friend of mine said, she had a hard time trying to get her son cooperate during hair-washing time. Learning from her experience, I decided to get Darren used to having little water poured down on his head, in time increasing the amount of water.
I was just starting to do that, with only very small amount of water, when he figured out how to pour water down from a plastic bowl, and immediately learned how to pour water on his own head.

There came a time when he managed to pour A LOT of water on his own head. He poured a bowl full of water, probably some 200 cc, onto his head and face. He choked and gasped, looking rather terrified, he grabbed my arm with his free hand and I too, was startled and a bit worried.
I was ready to comfort him and calm him down, but within a few seconds, he had a huge mischievous grin on his still reddish, watery face, and shouted, “GI!” [= LAGI! or in English: MORE!]

I shook my head as I watched him giggling full of excitement and pouring water onto his own head all over again, trying to be thankful because I don’t have to worry about having hair-washing trouble... :-/

Men's rest room

2009-04-01T19:53:00.000+08:00

When we had dinner in a restaurant downtown, for the first time ever in my life, I had to go into a gent’s rest room because Darren had to pee.

He’s doing great in his toilet training, meaning that he barely wets his pants during so long as he’s awake. But when we go out, I still put his diapers on, in case he wants to pee when we’re still in the car or in inconvenient places or in case he can’t hold his pee until we reach the right place.

So, back to the gents rest room.

Darren had his diapers on, but since he’s toilet trained, he’s still hesitant to pee into his diapers, so he would ask to go to the bathroom to pee.
I usually take him to the ladies’ room, but since it was occupied, I had no other choice than to check if the gents’ room was available (it was a small toilet so it was easy to immediately know that it’s empty, without me having to humiliate myself by peeping into it :P ).
I took Darren’s diapers off and he peed happily into the toilet.

Oh well, that’s a part of motherhood after all, going to men’s rest room included!

Gotcha!

2009-03-30T19:43:00.000+08:00

Today, after I got Darren to sleep for his nap, I rubbed a skin protector lotion, to keep him from the mosquitos.

Within minutes, he turned out to develop a skin allergy! He had tiny urticaria here and there, and after only some 5 minutes napping, he woke up because of the itch.
I rubbed anti-allergy lotion to his itch, and tried to get him back to sleep, but it didn’t work. He stayed up and soon he was too wide awake to be able to go back to sleep.

Later today, when he was playing with my helper who helps me keep an eye on him while I work, he kept saying “sleep... sleep...” to her.
He managed to sway her into believing he was sleepy.

I was busy working when she said Darren wanted to sleep, so without checking, I simply asked her to get him to sleep.
It was such an unusual time for him to nap, coz it’s almost his usual dinner time.
But, insisting to feed him if he’s truly sleepy would have been horror, so I decided to delay his dinner time until after his so-late nap.

At first he was calm and cooperative, and enjoyed being carried in a baby sling (unlike for nighttime sleep, for his naps, I haven’t succeeded in putting him to bed to sleep while he’s still wide awake).

After some time, he called out, “Mommy... mommy...” despite being carried by my helper. I left my work and went to him.
And he was nowhere near sleepy. With his huge round eyes sparkling, he was smiling and pointing to things that got his attention, saying their names outloud.

Today he got us, big time!

I’d say a little prayer for you, Beloved…

2009-03-27T12:25:00.000+08:00

Every night when hubby’s not on duty, he and I would take Darren to the bedroom when it’s time for him to sleep. If hubby’s on duty, I’d do it myself.
Every single night, we would pray together before Darren sleeps.

We’d start with a Sunday School song that goes:
♫ Lipatlah tangan, tutup mata….
Untuk berdoa pada Tuhan, amin… ♪
In English, it’s something like “Join your hands together, close your eyes… Let’s pray to God, amen…”
And after that I’d say a brief, simple prayer out loud, to give thanks to Heavenly Father and say a short request.

Although he’s still unable to sit still during our prayer time, Darren understands this ritual too well. Once we enter the bedroom and put him to bed, despite his moving about, he’d say “AMEENNN..” and sometimes also does so in the middle of our prayer.

Today Darren’s been having a little cough. So in the prayer, I said, “Dear Lord, thank You for blessing us today. Please bless Daddy at work. Now Darren is going to sleep. We pray that you would cure his cough. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”
Right when I got to the word ‘cough’, he cleared his throat, “ehm… ehm…” :)

Duck vs excretion

2009-03-25T11:38:00.001+08:00

My parents have been in town for a couple of days, and they’ve been so happy to see Darren.
They live out of town and they only get to meet Darren about once or twice a month, so seeing how much he develops every time they come has brought them endless joy.

My Mom mentioned something about “BELEK” (a slang in Bahasa which refers to the waxy excretion of the eyes). Darren immediately mimicked, “BEEK” (so much like a lamb’s voice), my Mom laughed and said, “No, not BEEK, but BELEK” and she pointed to the corner of her eye.
Darren couldn’t really say it correctly, and instead he repeated “BEEK..” and stuck his finger to a corner of his eye.
As a 15 month-old, his verbal skill’s stunning, but at times he still mistakes some words for others that began with a similar letter or syllable.

Last night when I put him to sleep, I laid beside him in bed like I always do. He’s such a restless kid that more often than none, he has difficulty sleeping. I usually have to lie down and pretend to have fallen asleep for some 20 – 40 minutes until he falls asleep. When he’s most restless, he would do ALL KINDS OF STUFFS to get my attention.
Some of them are: sticking his index fingers into his nostrils and pleads with nasal voice, “Mamaaa… mammmaaaa…. Mmmaaaammmmaaaaaa…” with ever increasing intensity of plead; or try opening the cupboard right beside his bed; or wreck the bed and stuffs on it (he would move the pillows about until some of them are out of their cases!). And while he did all that, I would just ignore him completely, because if I ever respond, he would go wilder, whereas if I ignore him completely, soon he’d be exhausted and eventually fall asleep.

So, back to last night, I was pretending to have fallen asleep as always when he laid right beside me. Today he wasn’t too “wild” that I wasn’t ready for any mischievous act.
Out of the blue, he stuck a finger to the corner of my eye, and said “BEBEK…” [= duck]
Once again, it took me a couple of seconds to figure out what he meant.
When I realize that he just mistook “BEBEK” for “BELEK”, it was so hilarious that I couldn’t suppress a laugh. I buried my laughter into a pillow…

Multiply your child's intelligence

2009-03-21T11:08:00.000+08:00

The other day, I went to a seminar about HOW TO MULTIPLY YOUR CHILD’S INTELLIGENCE with a friend. Quite interesting. Unlike my friend who has been practicing it with her daughter and read a lot of books on this topic, I haven’t read much about it before.

My eyes rounded when I saw pictures of a baby less than 3 months creeping, some 3 months old baby hanging high in the air only with her grasp on her mother’s thumbs, and a toddler “brachiating”, or “climbing” a high horizontal ladder with his two arms, swinging forward on and on, so much like a monkey hehehe…
Really really surprising, I never knew a child’s potential could be so stunning!

As for the application, I don’t really want my son to be able to swing like a monkey (he already gives us much trouble with his extra-HIGH mobility), he may develop his milestone growths at the pace he wants.
But what I do want to apply in our own daily lives is a better learning habit.
I think I haven’t given him as much “bits of intelligence” (to use their phrase) as he would like to, because he crave for more and more learning. I’m determined to use more English so he would at least learn a little bit of English if not successfully making it his second language (or third, after a local dialect). Also I decided to put more effort on flashing him the dots card (another one of GD’s method). (Thanks to my friend who lends me the whole set, it’s so expensive we couldn’t afford it hehehe…)

I did start flashing the dots card when Darren was some 6 months old. He didn’t understand nor was interested in looking. We had to flash it when he eats, to make him sit still in his high chair so he could focus on the cards (IF he wanted to). They said I should continue even if he didn’t seem to be interested in it. I tried on and on until eventually my enthusiasm wore off.
Recently, I tried to flash him the cards, starting from the very beginning, now he seems interested and able to focus better (having a longer attention span), but Mommy’s not as enthusiastic as before hahaha… A good thing that the seminar kinda “boost” me a new encouragement to start over with JOY and ENTHUSIASM so Darren would enjoy learning ^________^

Do you use GD’s method to teach your children? Or do one of your children has some kind of brain injury? They say that their method was first developed for kids with brain injury, and proved to give EXCELLENT results, and only after that they started to apply the method for “normal” kids.
So to mommies out there: HAPPY TEACHING! ^__^

Yaaayyy!!!

2009-03-21T01:10:00.000+08:00

Do your kids eat well?

When my son started eating solids, he ate like an angel. Well, I meant a pig hehehe…. He would cooperatively open his mouth WIDE and swallow anything given to him without much trouble. This went on for around 6 months.

When he gradually progress from a mixture of rice flour boiled with milk, to boiled rice with vegetables and meat, and on to finally eat soft rice, he started to give us trouble.
When he was 10 – 12 months old, his eating was so troublesome that he only finish very little food of the amount we gave him. That is, out of some 4 tablespoons of food, he would only finish half of it.
But afterwards, starting some 13 months on, he’s back on track and eat well. Now he can finish some 4 tablespoon of rice plus ¾ cup of soup or whatever.

One of my efforts in trying to give him a good eating habit is to praise him whenever he finishes his food. When he does, my hubby and I would applause him and cheer, “Yaaaayy!! Darren finishes his food.. yaaayy!!”
And he would smile so happily, clap his hands and cheer along, “Yayaayy!!” over and over…

When we dined together with my sister and her boyfriend at home, Darren was around. And as he saw the empty plates that my sister and her boyfriend finished, he shouted really loud and said, “YAYAAAYY!!” and clapped his hands happily ^__^
It was a cute reminder because my sister’s boyfriend was on a diet, hahaha… No offense, J ;P

Animal vocabulary

2009-03-19T12:50:00.000+08:00

I enjoy reading with my son, or play cards with animals’ pictures with him.
At 14 months, he already recognizes and able to name nearly 30 different animals, with his own babyish language, of course. His lingual skills are not yet as good as his vocabulary, sometimes we have to guess what he means by certain words. But he usually isn’t satisfied until we get exactly what he means.

A friend of mine once said that I should make a note or a journal of the things he said, because it would be so funny to read again in a few years, when he’s much older.
So here I am, trying to make a list of his animal vocabulary.

His first favorite stuffed animal: PANDA, he would call it BABAH (pronounced in Bahasa).
His most favorite “real animal” recently: HORSE, he can’t say the name either in English nor in Bahasa yet, but he usually mimics the sound of a horse to refer to it. He would say PA-PA… HIEEEHHH… as in mimicking the sound of the horse’s gallop and sound.
ZEBRA, he considers the same as a horse, only with different color. I can’t remember how old I was when I realize the difference between a horse and a zebra, other than it’s color. Probably some time during high school, or maybe even in university! :O How embarassing….
LION. This is another one of Darren’s favorite. He calls it AUM, as in mimicking its roar. He can’t tell the difference between a lion, a tiger, a cheetah, and all their family, he thinks they’re all alike.
COW, he mimics the sound MOOOO.
SHEEP/GOAT, he also mimics the sound, BEEEEK..
OWL, he calls it HU-HU, as in mimicking the hooting sound of an owl.
FISH, this one he calls ISH, because the word in Bahasa (Ikan) is too difficult for him. He also calls water mammals like dolphin, whale, etc fish.
DUCK, he would call it BEBE (in Bahasa, it’s BEBEK); now this one is pretty close.
FROG, he had a hard time mimicking the sound, but now he always says WO’WO’ for a frog, supposedly mimicking the sound of the “ribbit” in Bahasa (it’s not even close, I know…)
HIPPOPOTAMUS, he once called it PO, but only that once, he doesn’t know this one too well.
BEAR, this one he calls BEAR, mostly with “H” substituting the “R”.
BEE, he calls it perfectly. Sometimes he got carried away and says “BIBI” (in Bahasa, it means Auntie), because we have a lady who helps us with house works, and we call her Bibi J
BUTTERFLY, he says it PU PU, because in Bahasa, we call it Kupu-kupu.
BIRD, he calls it BUH, because in Bahasa, we call it Burung.
DOG. We have a Golden Retriever at home, named Kenny. Darren would call her NI’, and call every other dog with NI’ J
CAT, he says MEOW.
ANT, he says MU’, in Bahasa it’s Semut.
BEETLE (well a kind of it that often times be in a cartoon films or books, one with a black and red, round back), he would call it PI’ (as in Kepik).
TURTLE. Because in Bahasa we call it Kura-kura, we name Darren’s stuffed turtle YAYA, and now he uses this for turtle. Not long before, he would say UWE UWE in exchange for Kura-kura, I dunno how… But not anymore.
RABBIT, he would call it CIIIII (with a long “eeee”, because in Bahasa it’s called Kelinci).
SQUIRREL, he calls it PAI because in Bahasa it’s Tupai. But he rarely answers when we show him a picture of a squirrel.
GIRAFFE, he would call it PAH, as in Jerapah in Bahasa.
ELEPHANT, he calls it JAH, as in Gajah in Bahasa.
MONKEY, he sometimes calls it NYE, as in Monyet in Bahasa, but mostly he mimics the gesture and sound of a monkey, scratching his chest with one hand and rubbing his hair with another, saying “Ngu..ngu..” J
WOLF. We have only one picture of a wolf, and whenever he looks at this one picture, Darren always howl, AAAUUUUUUU. I’m not quite sure he would recognize a wolf in another picture.

I can’t remember any other for the time being.
But it’s been a long, boring list for you already, hehehe…
Thanks for reading until the end and having the curiosity or persistence to do so ^___^

Granny smell

2009-03-17T14:24:00.000+08:00

Where I live, we have this centuries old habit of after bath treatment for babies and small kids.
After we dry them well, we apply a few drops of aromatic oil, called “Telon Oil”, it’s a blend of cajuput oil, coconut oil, and foeniculi oil (whatever that is).
We apply it to the baby’s chest, belly, and feet. Old folks say that it has a warming effect. It has a special smell, soothing and pleasant, and it’s a typical baby’s smell in our culture. I use it all the time.

Meanwhile, some old women in our country use another kind of aromatic oil. There are quite a few kinds of them, but the most popular kind is what is called “Minyak Angin” (in English it would be “Wind Oil”, although it has nothing to do with the wind. Or maybe it’s for defense against the cold wind? I dunno…). Well this oil has an almost the same warming effect, only with a different scent.
Sometimes I think too much baby’s Telon Oil makes people smell somewhat like those traditional old women.

Since Darren was old enough to play with the plastic bottle of Telon oil, his favorite is to shake the bottle, he enjoyed the sound of it and the bubble he made. And sometimes if the bottle is still opened, he would drip it around until I stop him.
I would say, “Not too much, Darren. Too much oil would make you smell like a granny [= Nenek].” He would mimic, “Naa naa..” “Yes, ‘Nenek’,” I would say.

A couple of weeks after, I was giving Darren water to drink, not long before his meal time. So I said, “Not too much drink, Darren, we’re going to eat. Not too much.”
He stopped drinking from his cup and said, “Naa naa..”
It took me a couple of seconds before I realize he was correlating “too much” with “granny”.
I had a good laugh and said, “No, Darren, drinking too much won’t make you smell like a granny…”

Heat injury

2009-03-15T22:37:00.000+08:00

How do you teach your children about “dangers” they shouldn’t get close to?
By dangers I mean: electricity, injury potentials, hot water, etc.

Our 14 months old is a SUPER-ACTIVE, curious, fearless, heart-melting little boy who seems to never need to rest. He’s quite a challenge to our patience day after day, and worse, we ought to fight his try-to-be-cute-ways to get himself out of trouble, a skill which gets better everyday, as he grows increasingly adorable.

My hubby and I have this hot&fresh water dispenser at home. We use it all the time, something which obviously didn’t escape his attention.
He’s been VERY curious about it, eager to play with it, but until recently, wasn’t tall enough to reach it. Now he is able to touch the base, and gradually, the tip of the lever. So far he hasn’t been able to press the lever to make water coming out of the hose. But isn’t it only a matter of time until he can do it well and potentially get heat injury?

I once got a tip from a friend, who is a fabulous mom. She told us that it’s almost impossible to convince a toddler not to do something, especially things he’s curious about.
So, after some time fruitlessly telling him over and over again that the dispenser lets out hot water, which is dangerous, every time he gets near it, only to get him look back at us, shake his head, point out his tiny index finger, and said “no.. no..”, today we decided to practice that tip.

We held Darren so that he was close enough to press the lever he’s been so eager to play with. And then we let him press it, so hot water was coming out of the hose. The water was pretty hot, but not hot enough to get him serious injury, and we made sure that only a small amount dropped on his tiny hands (poor Daddy got more hot water on HIS hand, haha… Well, I really appreciate it, honey! ;P ).

At first he looked startled, uncomfortable, and confused, as in considering whether he should cry. By the time we got him to the sink to flush his hand with cold tap water, he had a huge grin on his face, already thinking that it was fun!! :O :O I wonder where we went wrong?!

Right afterwards, we got him by the dispenser, level to his eyes, and started, “This thing lets out hot water, it was hot, isn’t it? It hurts, so it’s a big NO NO to play with, OK? Do you understand Mommy?”
He looked back at me, shook his head, and mimicked, “No.. no..”
And immediately tried to reach the lever again!!
My hubby and I exchanged an I-can’t-believe-it look..

And as we looked at Darren, he was touching the lever (as I said before, he’s not tall enough to press it yet), then he held his hands on his chest, frowned, and moaned, “Aaaoooooooo…!!” And then went to us to have his “pain” kissed away.
My hubby giggled so hard he could hardly hide it from Darren. It soon became his new showy act.

We turned the heater off ever since, so now the dispenser can only dispense fresh water. But we did decide to report this result to my friend who gave us this tip.

Prepare prepare!

2009-03-12T16:41:00.000+08:00

Today my hubby and I visited our brother in law (my sister in law’s hubby). My SIL and her hubby are expecting their first baby. SIL is some 8 months pregnant.
To our surprise, they haven’t quite prepared much stuff for their coming baby, and they only got a month to go!

It’s astonishing to us, because we were pretty well prepared when I was only 7 months pregnant. It’s partly because I was admitted to hospital when I was 29 weeks pregnant, due to premature contractions. The contractions were quite frequent that I was given intravenous medications to help baby’s lungs maturing. It was quite a shock, so when we got back home, we immediately prepared everything, in case the baby was coming soon.
Thank God Darren was born at term ^__^ Now this is another miraculous story, maybe some other time I would write about this.

Another friend of mine who lives in a city said that she also prepared stuffs when she was 8 months pregnant. But by the time she did, she had already got a number of important stuffs like clothes, diapers, etc from her relatives.

Where we live right now, the culture is that close friends or relatives would inform you if they’re going to give you specific stuffs, so that you don’t have to buy it yourself. And after the baby’s born, friends and relatives would come visit you and bring gifts or goodies. That’s why some people like to wait for gifts from people so that they won’t be over-prepared.
But what if you wait and wait and what you expect isn’t given by anyone?

So when did you prepare for your coming baby’s stuffs? Are you an early bird? Or do you expect gifts from people to make sure you’re not over-prepared?

Anyway, to all expecting mommies out there, whatever you do, whatever your style is, enjoy preparing for your coming baby. It’s a very special moment, especially if it’s going to be your first baby. I hope you get everything you expect hehehe… ^________^

Son and Rain

2009-03-10T14:04:00.000+08:00

Our 14-month-old, Darren, LOVES to watch the rain, ever since before he could even focus on the droplets. As a teenager, I used to think of the rain as somewhat romantic, and I loved to watch the rainfall. Now I think rain is nothing nearly romantic.

Today, as I watched my son watching the rain, I had this awe in my heart. It’s so precious to watch his eyes widen and enthusiastically follow the raindrops falling from the edge of the roof, making a small stream and on to a puddle. “Teh..! teh..!” he would say (well shout was more like it), as in mimicking the sound of water dripping [“tes.. tes..”]. Another time he would stare at the drips coming from the sky. Yet another time he would knock on the window railing, while watching the rainfall, making funny sounds, trying to sing the “rain theme” (or better, asking for us to sing for him), a children’s song that goes “Tik, tik, tik, bunyi hujan di atas genting…” over and over and over…

So I guess now romantic isn’t exactly the right term for rainfalls. I think FABULOUS was more like it. I still love to watch the rain, even more with Darren by my side. But the sight of my son loving the rain was something FAR more fascinating. It’s amazing how a child can make even the tiniest, most ordinary thing in life so wonderful! ;)

Diary of a mom

2009-03-09T02:23:00.000+08:00

Dear all,

Welcome to my blog.

My name's Natalia.
I'm a mommy of a 14 months old son. I'm actually a doctor but currently working at home as a freelance translator so I can keep an eye on my beloved baby as he grows. People say a child's years as a baby, toddler, and pre-schooler fly by too quickly. It's true, that's why I want to make the best of it.

This is the journey of a mommy who wants to give all her best for her family. You are very welcome to read my stories, and watch as I rise and fall in my path. And hopefully, by doing so, you get something, anything, that can enrich you in your own paths.

Let the journey begin! ^__^